Unbelievable. I’m sorry. Well, he has at least three practicioners on his ass. It won’t end up nicely for him.
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Do not take his shit. Call him out and give it right back. He may have tenure, but that does not mean you can’t stand up for yourself. Especially in public spaces.
Be careful about dropping the course, especially if you are on fin aid. Make sure you know how this will effect your standing. I have fucked this up before, and paid for it dearly.
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If you have time, consider a sweetening / domination spell. Classic (honey pot, etc), or something like this. It is still working blissfully well for me. Or call up King Paimon, etc.
Bring a physical copy of the police report.
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I was just about to make something for King Paimon!
Thank you for advice- I will do a sweet jar now. Meeting her at 10am.
I will also ask if I can switch to a different section, maybe the class he warned everyone to stay away from. Unprofessional of him to be warning against another professor. Knowing him now, I think the other professor will be alright. I also have my audio recorder ready for class on Friday
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Worked out perfectly. I switched to a different professor on a different night!
Dean was very sweet today. I didn’t even need to request for the switch- she offered so I accepted.
Sweeten disposition jar:
Angelica, chamomile, cinnamon, jasmine, lavender, lemon balm, lemongrass, osmanthus, rose, violet,
Bay leaves with intent written on them, honey
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Congrats!
This was a nice touch 
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I made an herb mix/oil for Prince Orobas to thank him again:
Bay, black horse hair, cedar, chicory, cinnamon, devil’s claw, high John the conqueror/jalop, white sandalwood, vervain
Hail Prince Orobas
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You have this?! 
Please make Goddess of Evil powder
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Yess! I love this. I left my iron filings in NJ so I’ll get that Tuesday when I go there for methadone. Thank you for passing on the recipe!
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If you need black horse hair, then look for violin stringing material
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A couple summers ago, I lost my mind after a week during which I don’t know what happened but I can’t remember most of what happened in the material/physical realm. Like I still can’t remember anything that matches what I heard and what was on record. It seemed like I’d traveled someplace else and something had inhabited my body in my absence, or maybe it was all in my head. It felt so real and I don’t know what to make of it. I kept a private diary during that summer and here’s what I wrote, though also edited and paraphrased
It all ended with a court ordered month long psych ward hospitalization because I was so confused upon returning. And frankly I still feel like a crazy person recollecting these “memories”. I am not sure what to call them.
I just wanted to astral project, but my spirit guides had something else planned for me. I heard someone/thing say “well we need to deconstruct your soul and tweak or rebuild it on every level”. The room around me faded quickly to black.
I saw a bunch of concentric circles that kept expanding. Looked like ripples almost but everything was black except for the rings.
Then came the sounds but I couldn’t move. I couldn’t move because I couldn’t feel my body. Just floating in darkness.
It sounded like the world on hyperspeed around me- it was like I could hear the beginning of the universe, the beginning of life but long before humans. It sounded peaceful, wind rustling leaves, with enormous footsteps stomping around. I assumed it was dinosaurs… I don’t know.
I still couldn’t see anything. Just sounds and blackness. I thought I might be underground. I saw a flash of white light and felt its heat everywhere. Eventually I heard the rustle of leaves again. There was a bustling like life was starting again. But it disappeared again too. Everything died. Life would start, but always come to an end. And when it ended, there was a long dark silence before the bustling would start back up.
Eventually life made it long enough to evolve into humans. It took another long period of time before they started to sound organized. Like there was an order to the sounds. Civilization finally.
This whole time I still can’t see aside from the blinding hot white light that came before things went back to silence. Like I was deep underground hearing all of it but in a peaceful restful state. I heard a crowd of people mourning, crying, moving around. Like a funeral.
Then came this guttural sound. Buzzing drone of flies all around, like a motorcycle motor in my ear. But it was different. The droning buzzing just got louder.
I don’t remember when this shifted but for a moment I was back in my room. It was eerily silent though and when I went outside there was nobody around. Like no people anywhere no matter where I looked.
It then shifted at some point. I don’t remember the transition
I was in another place where the sky was dark and ashy with faint red glow in the clouds. Atmosphere was thick and pungent.
I then found myself in a post apocalyptic scene. Like some point in the near future. Everything looked like it was covered in a grey/white ashy blanket. There was nothing left but ruins. Fires and dust and just general mayhem.
Buildings in ruin, humans resorted to tribes, fighting and killing each other in a lawless world for rapidly depleting resources. I was hiding in what used to be a preschool but was now just its crumbled remains.
The world war destroyed organized civilization and this was now just chaos and hopelessness for the remaining survivors.
Then I was in a crowded hospital but it resembled a meat factory more than a place to heal. People were everywhere trying to patch up the mortally wounded. Terrible injuries. Soldiers who were missing body parts. A girl in the bed close to me had been chainsawed. I was looking around for some dope because damn.
Everything had gone to shit and I didn’t think I would ever be back in this current “home” timeline. I just wanted to get high and not deal with all the chaos everywhere.
A lot of other shit happened and it was all very confusing. I eventually “woke up” and I was in a hospital like in this / our home timeline. I was so confused I thought it had been years so I asked for the date. I was genuinely shocked when they said I’d been out for 3 days. It felt like much longer
It sounds insane. whenever I think about it I think well maybe I am just mentally ill and this was all a very vivid dream. I haven’t really shared this with anyone because it sounds insane to me too.
It’s been sitting in my private journal in fragments ever since it happened. Was saving it for the time when my memories come back in whole, but that has yet to happen so here are the fragments of what I could remember.
I want to remember everything but I think something is preventing that to protect me from going crazy again.
To attempt recovering those memories:
Memory oil for amnesia
Ashwganda, bay, butterfly pea flowers, ginseng, lavender, rose, rosemary
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I joined a Quimbanda class. It’s a little above my price range but so far I’m enjoying it a lot. The crazy thing (or maybe not crazy?) is that the teacher and I had almost identical visions, separately under different circumstances, of the postapocalyptic postwar tribe world that I described in my previous entry. Not the other stuff before but like everything I wrote after the place with the red clouds and pungent atmosphere. It helps me feel reassured and maybe even more confident that I am not hallucinating, but rather that I have senses that can be a gift vs a disease. I still need to watch out though that I don’t ever end up in the hospital again. Psych wards are so dehumanizing.
I think my memories will come back gradually at a pace that won’t make shit hit the fan. I heard something say something along those lines during a meditation earlier
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I will start working with Prince Orobas.
Found this old birthday gift- a rosewood horse sculpture because I was born in the year of the horse by Chinese zodiac. I am devoting it to Prince Orobas and will consecrate and charge it later in the week when I get my tests out of the way
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My free jewelry arrived. I paid for shipping and in return I give them some photos of the jewelry being worn. I am not sure what I’m going to do with them yet but I’ll start by consecrating them when this week lightens up. It seems every week I’m barely getting by and that needs to change. If I don’t find balance I’ll just keep burning out.
My favorite is this skull with a snake coiled around/through it
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I heard my former chem professor was very sick over the last week.
This is just the beginning, Dr Douche.
He is still deliberately making it difficult for me to transfer to the other professor. My dean, new professor, and I have requested my grades from him but he is ignoring all of us. I might have to take it up with the chair of the department.
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I love that skull!
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@Arianna thanks, me too!
In the spirit of seeking balance, I am taking a few hours of a break tonight after I finish a little bit of homework, not a ton, do a ritual, watch TV, eat pizza, and sleep. I just had a rough few days… I didn’t know I was going to take a chem lab test today until yesterday but I think I managed to do ok anyways. Studied my ass off all night.
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Full moon was kinda productive
Participated in a group invocation of Lucifer for my Quimbanda class. I probably won’t continue the classes after this month since I’m not really learning anything new. Waste of money mostly 
The teacher is nice most of the time, but it’s not worth what it costs. And a little too much emphasis on animal sacrifice. Like killing something is supposed to make the difference between a failed ritual vs a successful one:roll_eyes: what am I even paying for…
I also did a ritual to improve my memory and intelligence to make school less of a burden. Weirdly I’m starting to like physics over chemistry.
I also have a minor neighbor issue- this woman (let’s call her Mrs P for poo) downstairs rams her broom into her ceiling whenever I walk around at night or even when my 8 lb cat decides to play with her toys. I hear my upstairs neighbor walking around too but im not going to make a big deal out of it. It’s just the reality of living in an old building in NYC with other people in the building. At this point, I’m tiptoeing in socks to minimize noise but still get the broom treatment so I did a binding spell and hid the poppet I made for it under her window which I can easily access via the fire escape. That’s what she gets for using a broom instead of words and sentences to communicate.
Yesterday I had a weird dream about being choked by what felt like unbreakable dental floss. It was like a very thin cord (like floss) was wrapped around my neck but I was fine and still breathing. I couldn’t wake up though and I tried. I read somewhere that this particular kind of nightmare (suffocating) could be a sign of feeling suffocated by too much work, which sounds about right.
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Fuck. Now I want to take the St. Cyprian course. Can’t afford to do both though.
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Wow thank you! It sounds like the kind of class I’d love to take. In the long run, t’s actually more affordable than my current “Quimbanda” class. I don’t have the time and money to travel to Brazil for an “initiation” which is all at an additional cost. Definitely not continuing the current class. That’s money I’d rather spend on one of Jason’s classes
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