Fragments
I’m actually fine. I just think this is me on some days.
I used to view my life as being at a crossroads (and why I even came up with the spread): with one spoke where I could invest more into this weird thing with my enlightenment and another spoke where I continue down the mundane path. Both are pulling on me in equal measure, and a lot lately has been mundane dragging me away from what I feel is my calling.
If you’d asked me a week ago, I’d have said I was cursed, hexxed, or equivalent. To such a point I had to go on an entire Tedtalk with Mysterious about how I caused this when I did the working for K it backfired and caused all of this shit to happen.
I cannot recall a time when as many things went so bad so quickly. It started with a “kidney infection,” which we have since uncovered isn’t a kidney infection and likely a symptom of a long-suspected nerve or autoimmune disorder. Followed by the death of Charles. Followed by, now:
So, I’m getting a divorce.
I’ve spent a lot of time alone these past (almost two) weeks. There is something extremely comforting in pure silence. No noise. No chaos. It has made me a terrible friend, which many of you can likely attest to, but something about sitting in a room and just being in the moment really calms the mind even.
I have been working with Baba Yaga on the body shifting working that ReyCuervo is running, which has been the most consistent I’ve ever been with a working, and I only bring that up because I’m absolutely segwaying into Goetia and fight me.
Aim (for a fight cause spirits keep trying to teach me shit)
I recently spoke with Aim, a Goetia spirit. We spoke shortly before Charles died, and this MF said to me: “You will have to face the things that you’re uncomfortable with in your life before too long.” He said it would hurt initially, but it will help me in the long term.
Then all of this terrible shit happened, because that’s the Goetia way. I actually thought this happened after Charles passed away, but went back to my journals to find the opposite is true. All of this to say, I am absolutely certain there is a lesson in all of this, but I am too dumb to see it right now.