I’m a descendant from a long line of hicks and country bumpkins. Things have been going downhill for most of my life if I’m being honest. I’m 30 years old but emotionally and mentally I’m probably more around the age of 15. Physically I am 30 but…since early childhood, I was coddled by my mom and grandma. Because of that, I feel like I suffer from peter pan syndrome. My grandma died a few years back but my mom is still very much alive and I live with her and my slightly younger brother. At this point in my life, I’m ready to grow up and I’m working with the angels of omnipotence to throw my comfortable childlike life in disarray. I"m currently on SSI but I want to change and slowly work my way into work. I feel like a lot of things hold me back but I’ve got to win. If someone were to ask me what I want the most in my life is to overcome my upbringing.
My Magickal Experience
I remember when I was a young teen there was an action cartoon on KidsWB starring famous Kung-Fu movie action star Jackie Chan. There was a plot point where there were magical talismans with special abilities but one that caught my attention was one of the talismans that allowed the holder to leave their body and roam around as a ghost. An Astral Projection talisman. I looked up the term and found the buzzword was used by practitioners who sincerely believed it was possible and not just some plot McGuffin in some children’s cartoon. This might be some UPG but I get the feeling that some people are called to the Occult at a young age and I just might have been one of them. But eventually, I grew up. The events of my childhood and my coming of age could be a novel in and of itself. Got into Christianity, got out of it, fell in love, fell out of love, but in my late twenties I read ask and it is given by Abraham-Hicks and used it to manifest a cat. That significantly brought my attention to the secrets of the universe and how there’s more than what I can see, hear, feel, touch, and taste. My spiritual senses are shit but now I see how they don’t need to be perfect.
My Occult Kindle Collection
Archangels of Magick: Rituals for Prosperity, Healing, Love, Wisdom, Divination and Success
The Angels of The Law of Attraction: Manifest Your Dreams With Divine Power
The Science of Getting Rich
Magickal Servitors: Create Your Own Spirits to Attract Pleasure, Power and Prosperity
The Angels of Alchemy: Contact the 42 Angels of Magickal Transformation
Condensed Chaos: An Introduction to Chaos Magic
Modern Magick: Twelve Lessons in the High Magickal Arts
Lucifer and The Hidden Demons: A Practical Grimoire from The Order of Unveiled Faces (The Power of Magick)
The Miracle of New Avatar Power
Demons of Magick: Three Practical Rituals for Working with The 72 Demons (The Gallery of Magick)
Works of Darkness (The Complete Works of E.A. Koetting Book 2)
The Master Works of Chaos Magick: Practical Techniques For Directing Your Reality
Grimorium Verum: The True Grimoire
The Kybalion (Illustrated) (Annotated): A Study of The Hermetic Philosophy of Ancient Egypt and Greece
The Simon Necronomicon (Illustrated)
Magickal Cashbook: Attract Money Fast With Ancient Secrets And Modern Wealth Magick (The Gallery of Magick)
Initiation Into Hermetics
Angels of Omnipotence
My current Goals will be updated as they change. For now, I won’t lie, I feel lost. I’ve got blockages right now so I will be working with Uiazel’s energy to get rid of them.
That’s all at least for now. Time for some real tangible change.
You might want to stop the negative self talk saying you have a bad monkey mind is kind of like programming your brain to behave that way.
Maybe when that thought comes correct it by going no I don’t I have a (pick a quality) mind like if you start thinking bad monkey mind you’d tell yourself no I have a meditative mind (or whatever quality you chose as an alternative thought).
I’m not saying don’t meditate I’m saying also try addressing the negative self talk too. Dig?
I agree with what @Kish said, and also, I would highly recommend Wim Hof breathing technique for a very easy way of calming your mind and body down. (Note: take precautions and make sure you are physically capable of the method, and that you’re sitting or reclining somewhere comfortable, like in bed or with your back against a wall.)
The Wim Hof technique is insanely good at helping me reach trance; I hope it helps you too.
You might also want to try finding a mantra that you agree with and try chanting that to help you focus. As you say it visualize it in your head too. I do this a ton when chanting King Paimons enn. The brain needs something to keep it active so visual and auditory use helps.
I’ve had problems with my “monkey mind” as well (and still do) but I find focusing on my breath or a mantra has helped lessen it some. Its a slow road but keep at it.
Did the ritual again. Felt the burst of energy move out like sonic booms but without hearing anything.
Met shem angel Eladel. She appeared to me like a Disney princess. I spoke to her about my Ma’s aching knees and she said, “I’ll see what I can do.” We also talked about getting me unstuck in life. We’ll be talking more over the next day.
I read part one chapter one of Robert Anton Wilson’s Quantum Psychology and I think the parable is one of self-reliance. No one can open the door to enlightenment. If the man chose to storm in through the door, I would imagine the guard would’ve stepped out of the way.
I seriously cannot get enough of this visionary type of magick. It’s so fucking cool. Part of me feels like a delusional idiot but when I was a kid I used to do a lot of this kind of stuff. I would often pretend to go on journeys to the world of Pokemon and engage in the world of DBZ. You know, the type of media that I consumed religiously as a child. I would get so wrapped up in mental pretend I have this vivid memory where in my head I pretended to train at Goku’s House and I decided to leave and continue playing pretend in the world of pokemon and when I left I felt sad. I’m starting to ramble, but nevertheless it feels so goddamn real if not downright fun. I kept hearing E.A Koetting says in his divination course that if you’re not having fun then it means you’re trying too hard and it won’t work.
I played some drumming on youtube. I did a round of Wim Hof breathing as recommended by @Veil. (I love reading your writings by the way. It’s always a joy. I envy your tight grasp on grammar as well as your prose work.) I left the cave and when I met Raziel she took me up into the sky and gave me a happy and warm smile. I told her I was happy to see her but I needed to talk to Lavel. (I think is mislabeled him as an archangel but I don’t think they nor Lavel gave a shit.)
I met him in the middle of a desert outside a pyramid. My request was pretty simple. I wanted to overcome the severe mental limits that I have imposed on myself and fed by my mother. I live on SSI and feed off the government(There’s nothing wrong with SSI. I’ll leave it at that.) but I want to really get out there. Live my life, become wealthy. Do the things that I dream of doing!
He had me stand on a fractal pattern that made me think of the flower of life. He had me invoke his energy and he also gave me a spear “Befitting of a Warrior” his words not mine.
Whenever I come across a block in any sort of way I believe he wants me to make a quick journey and invoke his energy. Or maybe the spear. Visualize me holding and striking down any mental block.
It was all and all a very pleasant experience. I will be doing more of this “working in vison” in the future.
@Veil I also think I remember giving you a tarot reading on BALG and telling me in the nicest possible way that I was talking out of my ass. Might have been someone else but i’m pretty sure it was you.
I’m not going to lie I haven’t been doing my daily act of magick lately because A couple of days ago I got plastered and the next day was followed by being entirely in bed but today I’ve resumed my practice.
A fellow by the name of Mike B who I think goes by @DarkGodofQlippa posted a training regiment on BALG about stimulating the Clair senses. I contacted through vision the Angel Of Omnipotence Ublisi. She appeared to me in a yellow gown with a golden tiara with short silver hair.
We spoke for a while and I called her hair “trendy” and she laughed. I asked her for her mentorship and she agreed. Whenever I need to speak to her I just have to say her name a few times and she’ll come.
We’ll be doing Mr. Mike B’s training thingy and I’ll post more in regards to our further training.
My love for this vision magick grows. I’m thinking about getting into Core Shamanism as part of my practice.