Greetings! I wanted to start a thread to offer some experiences and insights that I’ve gathered along the way. I plan on posting here every Wednesday, but I may miss a week here and there as I have a relatively large amount on my plate.
For the first entry, I’d like to share something somewhat personal. Perhaps this will help you to understand me a little better, or perhaps it will have somewhat of a contrary effect. Either way, I’d like to talk about some of my “visions.” For me, there are two types of these: those of the “intrusive” variety; and those that are intentional. The former are often more intense.
The first one I ever had occurred as a sort of dream within a dream. It lasted about 10 seconds or so and then faded into something of a lucid dream. I was thirteen (yeah, I know) and saw a vision of myself surrounded by fire. I woke up, grabbed a dozen tea light candles, went outside and made a circle around myself with fire and began to invoke the spirit of the flames that I saw within the dream(?). Many more of these visions would occur over the years.
I would later come to find that two of my sisters have epilepsy, but I have never been diagnosed or had the seizures they experience, except once, which I believe was due to my own ignorance, and occurred while trying to provoke one of these visions intentionally. I’ve now gotten to the point where I am a little more experienced in the matter, so I’ve begun recording them in a journal recently. One of those I would like to share with you now.
The Sidereal Stranger
While reading about Jung’s childhood dream of the Man-Eater, I began envisioning the surreal landscape. Suddenly I found myself before the same beast, and watched as I began to slice my finger open before pressing my blood into its flesh. At this point, the entire thing began to tremble, and black smoke began billowing out as I stood frozen in awe.
I began to inhale the black smoke and then became momentarily blinded. I began to see a starry night sky, but it was billowing like a wind-blown cloth. Upon noticing this, I realized it was enshrouding a very ancient looking man. He was wearing the sky like a wizard wears a robe. His hair and beard were disheveled, and he was muttering about having lost something or someone dear to him. Only by igniting the sky would they ever become reunited. I was bewildered and confused…
He then waved his mighty hand, gesturing toward another sky above him. Then, with a second motion, he pointed to a small blue bird that seemed to be caught in some bramble below. He let out a cry of despair as he reached down and grabbed me, tossing me into the thicket of thorns as well.
I began struggling to free myself, but only served to tire myself and terrify the poor blue-jay beside me. Suddenly, a massive wind picked up and with it I heard a voice echoing loudly in my mind. “Only one who is drowned in the flood may carry the torch…” At this moment a loud crack of thunder was followed by torrential downpour. Before I knew it, I was consumed by a sense of dread. I felt myself becoming weaker and weaker, while the water was collecting faster and faster until I could no longer discern to what degree I was lost within its depths.
Darkness eventually enveloped me, yet again. Panicking, I thrashed about finding nothing but thorns. Fearing that I would become a vessel of this darkness, I plunged one of the giant thorns into my chest. I felt agonizing pain, and then – a shift in the flow of water around me. Still encased in a void of utter blackness, I could make no assumptions as to what had caused this. A brief moment passed, and I began to perceive a faint light overhead. I could finally see the sky above me, piercing through the now-receding waters.
My head was finally freed from the onslaught of ocean depths. My shoulders, and then my waist were next. I immediately began to scan my environment, finding an enormous gaping hole in the earth just a few hundred feet away. Apparently the water had drained into it, displacing the vines, and freeing me from the clutches of an uncertain fate. Then I remembered the tiny bird that had been trapped also.
I turned around only to find that it had drowned, and was incredibly bloated. I gently squeezed it, attempting to remove the water from its lungs and stomach. Slowly, a golden sap began to excrete from its mouth. Again, the loud voice boomed within my mind. “Behold, the medicine of the fool and the poison of the wise, that you should imbibe it and know all worlds before!”
Running my finger across the small animal, I wiped some of this substance up with my finger and applied it to my wound. A massive cracking sound, then the sense of ripping in half from the top down. “Blessed is he who believes in his grief,” the voice chimed. I began to rise above my previous awareness and then, looking down, saw a massive crack in my skull. Mystified, I begin to draw my gaze upward.
The sky ignites into an amethyst flame. It rapidly deteriorates to reveal another scene. An enormous mouth with an eye inside of it. Its iridescent iris was absolutely astonishing. Its lips were a pale blue, as if deprived of oxygen or warmth. I immediately knew this was the source of the voice inside my head somehow.
The stranger in the sidereal robe cried and bellowed toward the skies, “My love! Why have you hidden yourself from me!?” The echoing voice replied, “Because you would forget yourself, leaving countless ages to the darkness. Leave thy robe resplendent to the fool who was wise enough to sacrifice his future so that we may come to rescue the past.” The stranger removes his garment and it glides down to me, blanketing me with its beauty.
I become increasingly aware of terrestrial gravity and the physical world surrounding me. I find myself sitting on the floor of my study shaking, in a cold sweat.
If you’ve made it this far, thank you for you interest. I will be sharing different things each week in a different way. This is just one of the more meaningful visions I’ve had so far, so I wanted to share it with you, and experiment with what interests all of you. Stay tuned!