Thank you lovely! How did you know exactly what would cheer me up? 
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A lucky guess 
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I decided tonight would be a nice night to re-consecrate some of my tools.
(If anyone asks, it’s paint. Definitely not my own heart’s blood. >_> )
Wand courtesy of @norse900 
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That would’ve been a sight. That wand would’ve soaked it up like a sponge.
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It most definitely does. Which is why I had to re-blood it.
I mean, um, re-paint it.
In a day or two it’ll just be like a nice wood polish. Speaking from past experience
Edit: it’s already darkening to a nice maple finish. Best part is that I transported it between dwellings in a box full of incense sticks, so now my blood smells like opium and sandalwood
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A while later, I dabbed a smear of blood on the box that holds True Black.
After talking with @Dankquanicus I have been inspired to feel out the Genius spirit of… everything. So I started with the deck that’s been so good to me. I laid my palm over the deck and it seemed to hum energetically. Then a leap of goodwill, which after a while numbed my right hand and wrist and forearm. Yet I can’t stop putting my hand back on it. And the smear of blood is gone, absorbed into the shell. The deck already seemed so responsive, so let’s see what happens now. It already seems to call me to pet it like my foxes do. Is that normal? Prolly not ay.
Ye, that’s a peacock feather filament tied 'round the tip.
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You have lovely blood, Peacock Queen.
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Thank you. I made it myself 
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Wearing the dead same headphones rn (only in white). Every time someone roasts me about my shitty worn-out headphones, gotta remind them that they’re legit recording studio quality. And these shitty worn-out headphones have been going strong for like 6 years now; they just look scuffed, but the sound quality is 
I wish you the best, let me know how it goes
Wanna be free and I wanna let go
We came around and you showed us the most
I know so much shit that I cannot expose
I keep it inside and I laugh on my own
I dreamt of being chased by a black bear with a white face marked exactly like a skull, and that someone was urging me to carve something, anything, into my flesh. I chose to carve a rabbit, but woke up before I could execute it.
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1.3.23
Well, I have successfully maxed out a Notes file on my phone with dreams, reaching back to last September (with many lapses where I was too lazy or forgetful to record anything).
Today I had one of those continual dreams where you’d wake briefly before deliberately wrapping the tattered threads of the last dream around you and falling back into the dream world. Three sequential dreams.
In the first one, I had two big dogs, named after characters from a book series I like. “Fenrys” and “Gavriel”. Gavriel was the first to turn on me, and I have a vague memory of him mauling my right arm. Later he fought with Fenrys, and I have a vague memory of someone in-dream instructing me how to react if Fenrys got free. Later, Gavriel tried to protect me when Fenrys went mad, and broke out of his pen to chase me. I have a striking memory of standing in a room beside the door, with Fenrys, a great, black, short-haired dog, facing me down from the far end of the long hallway.
His lambent eyes fixed on me, glowing fluorescent green, his mouth distending into a snarl past the limits of real-world physics. I knew I ought to slam the door, but his glare froze me in place, and in a heartbeat he launched at me, a knife – a machete, really – appearing in his maw, gripped by the handle. I didn’t even have time to close and brace the door before he bounded through the threshold. In slow-motion I leapt toward the ceiling, and he leapt after me, and gravity suspended.
The machete severed the tips of the fingers on my left hand as I thrust it out to slow him down and give him a target. In slow-motion the little lumps of flesh and fingernail spun and drifted away. I caught the blade on my palm, feeling no pain, then with my right hand wrested the handle from his jaws and struck down in a wild sweep. Gravity and time suddenly reverted to normal as I did so. I severed his head and the hump of bunched muscle somewhere through his shoulders in that first desperate swing. Gravity and time slowed once more, and his head, and gaping maw, and the column of his neck drifted away on a slow current.
I went through the next two dreams with a crippled left hand, trying to adjust to it while dealing with other problems, but noticing my fingertips were slowly regrowing.
Well, that was really fucking disturbing.
In other news, I am perfectly delighted with my new Tarot deck. With so few keywords it seems to be adding considerable clarity to the cards I draw from True Black.
Reading @Czar’s journal the other day also, unrelatedly, gave me the idea that perhaps I can include, or independently read, Hanafuda (“flower cards”) to give me an actual specific idea of timing. Since I am cautiously optimistic about True Black + Goetia but still consider it in the experimental phase, I am not going to be adding new elements immediately to any readings. (Also, I need to remember and/or find where tf I put my Hanafuda deck.) But the idea of being able to assign an actual month to an outcome is heady.
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Very cool 
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Well since you think so, I will sign you up as test subject #1 heheheh.
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Every time I’m home alone now, something mildly spooky happens, without fail.
The next time I was home alone, I was sitting in the living room and the window behind me began to rattle violently like someone was banging their fists on it. It’s been windy as hell lately, so I could attribute it to that, except it’s never happened before or since… until about 10 minutes ago, when everyone else had left the house. I went into the living room, closed the door behind me, and sat down. A few moments later the door slowly swung open of its own accord, and then the window behind me started violently rattling again. I said “Yes?”, as in “tf you want?”
Got no response on any channel — clairvoyant, clairsentient, or clairaudient, but a few moments later shivered violently even though it’s hot and I’m sweating.
Alright then, kindly fuck off, thanks. That’s not frightening, merely noteworthy and curious.
Won a competition (and some clout) at work with the Law today. 
Helped by some good old-fashioned hard work, for a change. But I was certain and confident I’d win. Five or six hours of UX/UI wireframing and photoshopping mock-ups (jolly good fun for me) to win a half day off work. Nice.
My dreams have been fantastic and fantastical. Yesterday I was a starship captain who, amongst other things, jumped through a wormhole into an area of space inhabited solely by static colossi made out of enormous LEGO blocks, while trying to avoid Homelander. I was somehow ejected from the ship and had to face my fear of heights again. Later I was in a video game, slaying dragons and monsters, and had to defeat the final boss by shouting out a stanza of the Bornless Ritual.
Am beginning to suspect that the Homelander represents something.
I’ve been properly clean for… I actually have not been tracking the days. Two weeks?
Aye, I checked. Two weeks today exactly. I would say I missed it if I thought about it more, but honestly I don’t think about it, so I don’t have the chance to miss it.
One down, one (or I guess two…) to go.
I’m getting better at ukulele. I suspect that will only last until my fingernails grow out again. Ah, such sacrifice. At least I’ll still have my recorder and my muscle memory.
Though my soul may set in darkness, it will rise in perfect light
I have loved the stars too fondly to be fearful of the night.– Sarah Williams, The Old Astronomer
V
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That’s awesome! Good job!
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Thank you my love
Gotta say I was mighty tempted today, but I somehow found the presence of mind to stop myself. I feel at least a little bit proud of myself.
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And they say robots will take over the world
Edit: then again the cult of Dionysus is relevant to my interests and pursuant to my studies 
Special director’s cut content:
+ Elaborate dreams of committing violence… and more Homelander. I have suspicions.
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Told one of my housemates about this a few days ago and they laughed at me… until we were watching TV tonight, and one of the characters in the show yeeted something diagonally downwards and out of the shot, and at that exact moment, the wine bottles lined up under the TV in a direct line from the character’s throw all toppled over. The timing was unbelievably perfect.
Housemate was shook, I was just like “See? Told you spooky shit was happening in this house.”
The wine bottles have been sitting there for a good two weeks completely undisturbed, have never so much as rattled before, yet just happened to all fall over in a heap so it looked like the TV show character struck them with their thrown object. There is absolutely nothing that triggered it. No one was walking past, stomping around, or anywhere nearby the bottles.
Spooky 
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OR how we end up with a bogan Aussie Skynet.
“Oi dickhead you’re breakin the fuckin law aye, cop Judgment Day ya fkn dawg”
I’ll take my chances
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