Oh no I don’t mean that. But he would already be aware of it takes expansion to develop to your fullest potential and how he may very well be your biggest crutch, so it’s actually contrary to what I usually see them do which is force you to take the lessons you need even if they are rough emotionally or require you develop outside of your comfortable box.
This sounds directly opposite. It’s just interesting 
I’m sure there’s lots for me to learn yet on the topic.
I don’t accept
I never thought of that… hot damn that resonates and you could you really be right.
Well. I don’t mean to imply that I am right and you are wrong just that it struck me as all wrong. 
I’m sorry if it’s not. I don’t mean to question you, but rather to encourage you to question what they say and do.
Hmmm I’ll get some face time with him. See what he says.
Yep, seen this for sure. I hadn’t been working with Hecate long when Belial burst in on the seen. She wasn’t happy about the rudeness and I could tell she didn’t want me to. She looked a bit sad(?) or something like that before saying I should.
It was a timing thing, though. She wanted me to be further along and wanted to mentor me a bit longer.
For Prince Orobas 
Yeah I don’t want him to think this is the beginning of the end. He was loyal to me at really low points in this life. That’s the biggest reason I stay loyal to him. We’re a team.
Part of the problem is I’m personally mixed about this tree of life business. I’ve started it so I’m going to finish it. I owe myself that. But “balancing the tree” " balancing the qlippoth" those are just words. Someone else’s ideas. Yes balancing the tree sounds good but I didn’t feel imbalanced before. I felt empowered and energized. I felt strong with qlippoth. Why do I need to balance anything? I’m not 100 % sold this was a good idea.
I don’t work with angels hardly ever. This is for personal reasons. I’m not saying people that work with angels aren’t LHP because that’s not true. The LHP is free to work with whatever spirits it wants to. I firmly believe that. For me I simply don’t like or trust the angels overly much…
I don’t blindly trust the infernals either…I try to trust myself if that makes sense.
I’m trying to make sense of this decision. I know rationally that completing this can only expand my wingspan. That’s really the essence of this. Now that it’s getting difficult I’m second guessing myself that’s irritating. I’m not going to quit this I’m going to finish today tonight and get some rest a couple days then do yesod.
Maybe it’s because you aren’t starting off on balance (you are after all attuned to the night side)? That or it needs less time in it then the dark side? However I’m just guessing at possible causes.
Think of balance as a high wire tightrope act. Too much sway in either direction and you fall off balance (and if your tightrope walking you better hope there’s a safety net when you drop 20 + feet if you get off balance).
I know that’s not a very good example nor is this one.
Compare it to a banquet. If your too full of first course there’s little or no room for desert but if you have proper portions and don’t over do it you can fit in all the courses.
I tend to this of this as spiritual texture. So, take the idea of up/down, Sephiroth/Qlippoth and just toss it away for a sec. Now, think of your favorite food. I like authentic ramen. The idea of solid, and the idea of liquid: are not only not in conflict, they are in love. These two ideas dance together.
The shortcoming has been that people plot Sephiroth/Qlippoth, Mercy/Severity against each other. This is up/down morality (hear me out). These two concepts should not reach equilibrium (static).
Instead, you wanna plot those in a left/right manner. Instead of thinking good (up), bad (down), you turn it sideways and say Art.
Basically, you are an artist who is about to paint. The exact ratio of color x compared to color y doesn’t matter. What matters is that you use them both in a manner, form, and expression that is most tender to you. 
If this sounds like psychbabble i can delete it
Interesting take I liked the part of turning it sideways and calling it art.
Quick question have you done both sides of tree? It sounds like you have.
I want to comment on this, although I do believe some spirits experience such a range of emotions, Socrates rejected the anthromorphism of the Gods.
So following the philosophy of Socrates, Plato, Aristotle, and the Neoplatonist Philosophers, the Greeks and Romans saw the Gods as always being in a state of divine bliss. Aristotle says we have a conflicting nature in us, which is from the desire for the pleasure but the capacity to feel and fear pain. The Gods do not have a conflicting nature but are unified and perfect.
With this, the Greeks and Romans did not see the Gods as doing any bad or simply causing misfortune. Plotinus also argues that the Stars and Planets are always in a similar serene state, as it seems rather absurd with this that they experience different emotions depending on what angle they percieve each other from our point of view and so on.
The Stars and Planets are also seen as the visible bodies of the Gods, although the Gods’ highest form is beyond the intellectual world, which is to say their highest form is beyond being possible to understand. They existed before time was created, and they exist outside of space.
The Gods are seen as arising out of The One, with one God first arising out of The One who is identified as Zues, and he is the Demiurge (in Platonism, the Demiurge is considered benevolent and philosophers like Plotinus, who was once a Gnostic, make many arguments and reasonings against the Gnostics in his Enneads), and created all the other Gods.
Now, everything did not need to arise out of The One. The Gods did not need to exist for The One. Rather, everything arose out of The One because it’s superabundant goodness overflows. Iamblichus gives the analogy of a fountain overflowing.
It is similar with the Gods. So it was considered near blasphemous to think that the gifts we give during prayer is like an offering, which is implying that the Gods can be bribed. But they did not think that the Gods can be bribed. After all, you are ultimately giving their own gifts back to them, as they Gods create all things in the Cosmos and inwardly nourish it. The Gods are perfect, there is nothing they need or that they desire. Rather, these things are given as a symbolic means of appreciation of the Gods. They do not benefit from us giving them gifts. We benefit more from communion with them than it seems that they do with us. In this way, it is in their nature that their own goodness overflows.
I have certainly had experiences with this that seem to confirm what I have said here regarding the nature of the Gods, but my own testimony is hardly needed, as we have entire traditions of wise, experienced and powerful sages all affirming this.
Malkuth final dreamscape I was in a high school with no bullies and I declared myself graduated and left.
This will be the end of malkuth dreamscapes. I will resume tree of life Monday evening In yesod.
I saw very little in malkuth of any kind of morality so I’m suspecting you’re right, take that out of the equation and start looking at the beauty of balanced art.
You gave me a big hint there man and I appreciate it. 
Last night I had murmur scheduled. I totally blew it. I was on the phone late trying to close a business deal with a client and the person was on the fence and I was trying to close this deal.
I couldn’t concentrate and couldn’t produce the will or focus or complete the conjuration and Murmur just shook his head and fucked off.
I felt like a real asshole. I’m gonna do a make up session if he consents tonight.
Oh I didn’t get that job either they got cold feet and backed out. So the whole situation was 2 losses 0 wins. Damn.
I need a redo with Murmur. I just reached out and he’s disappointed but says ok. I hate disappointing people or spirits.
Ok I saw Murmur tonight. He arrived very quickly and scolded me for my behavior the night before. Then we got to the lesson. Conversing with the dead.
I can’t tell you what I talked about with person x. But it was interesting his take on the afterlife.
He compelled me to take a photo of his incense smoke too let’s see if there’s any cool shapes in it.
Interesting shapes!!!
Ok tomorrow marks sphere start Yesod
Mighty Archangel Gabriel I pray and petition 5hat grant me admittance to the mysteries of yesod and duly initiate me therein. Grant me waking gnosis and dreamscape knowledge of this sphere. I ask in the the name of shadai el chai. So be it.
I’ve got 5 evocations planned on behalf of a friend who needs help. Asmoday will get us started at noon. It’s gonna be on and Poppin.
I’m in a super good mood. A divination revealed Asmodeus is a good mood today but I’ll address him with all pomp ceremony and formality anyway. He likes that. Being honored with formality. He feels he’s owed it…
Which he kinda Is yeah
I just realized it im 42, to I’m now truly my real, full grown up self, I’m becoming who I came into this world to be.
When I was 5 or 6 years old I dreamed of being a magician and going to a school of Magick. This was way before harry Potter. I prayed for months night after night for god to grant my wish.
I wanted to be respected and held in esteem by m y peers ( to have earned the privilege of being called adept by my fellows. I will never feel worthy of that title though it brings me great joy). Now I have a business helping others, I teach in Magickal orders school and I am held in high regard by my community.
Now I know the answers do dreams come true. I had to ally and align myself with the infernal and go through qlippoth hell to get here though. This was not easy any step.of the way.
Now I have some light, some vision, enough to share with others but there is still soooooo much I do not understand.
I suspect I will outgrown models like we the kaballah and qlippoth and start seeing things more closely to as they really are in time. @norse900 has provided a vision of that stage.
Norse btw has been instrumental In how I’ve built and developed myself and my practice this last two years. I would not.be.where i am now without his guidance and advice. To his credit I am a hard learner with a thick skull, he has been very patient with me. I think he came into my life about a year and a half after my.third teacher died. Anyway thanks @norse900 for everything.
I’m living my dreams now Monday through Sunday. I’m not the most powerful magician pm the block but damn have we I gotten so strong. I’m really pleased with the efforts I made with the 72 challenge and qlippoth and with my ebook on that other site.
Anyway, I want to say you can walk the path of this power too. You can build a knowledge base and a working practice that to you will be proud of.
It takes work. Real dedication, practicing even when you don’t feel like it. Make it fun. @UncleAl says if you aren’t having fun with magic you’re doing wrong. He’s right. Be willing to be wrong about your beliefs and don’t be too attached to them or to methods you may outgrow with time.
Watch what your peers do and say. They are a mirror for you. Trust your patrons live your pacts.
Listen to that still Small voice inside yof you that sounds like a child’s whisper. It’s almost always right
That’s my best advice
Prince Orobas and King Bael wish great success to everyone.
