This journal will my work in progress with Mistress Bune. I know a lot of magicians see Bune as male. I, however have always seen Bune as female. So that is how I will refer to Bune here.
I have been working Bune off and on for over a year now. Honestly, most of that time has been spent butting heads with each other.
I wanted something and she wanted something. I was being a hard head and didn’t want to give up what she wanted.
Bune, wanted to bring forth dragon lying dormant deep within. I however, wouldn’t budge. There’s a power there that terrifies me. Not that I’m afraid for me but for the power it wields and how it would be used. My trust issues have trust issues, so could I even trust Bune?
So, it’s been a back and forth for over a year. Hot and cold, yes and no.
These past few days something has changed. I have to let go of past hurts and mistakes if I’m gonna move forward. If it’s holding me down or holding me back it’s time to let it go.
In order to do this and do it right I have to trust Bune. I have to trust Bune in a very big way. Azazel, would probably be the only one coming close the level of trust we need between each other. Can I do it?
Letting go and letting someone else take hold of something I’ve kept hidden and locked away, it a huge thing to do.
There was someone else that I was suppose to work on this with but that is no longer possible. Therefore, Bune will be the one.
Bune, for sake of these exercises will be more of a magician role, and I the dragon. It’s a little flipped as the magician is usually on this side and the dragon on the other but it will work out.
We seem to be in castle, it’s a nice castle with strong walls and dark secretive rooms.
The first thing I do is go to a passage that leads underground, and there I find a long row of dragon skulls. Some are so massive the size of the dragon would be massive. Bune, shows me a particular skull and explains that this was once her dragon. It was a huge skull, not the biggest but closer to that side of the spectrum.
Up to this point I was still struggling with trusting Bune, but when I place my hand on this skull it was like I could feel his love for Bune, I could feel and see their bond. I saw their failures and triumphs, and I wanted that. I wanted to trust someone so completely, that I could let go of the weight on my shoulders, I could soar in the sky and plunge into the sea, I could be free to be that dragon that I held back for so long. I could trust, and be in a beautiful relationship with one who could push me to break new barriers and learn to control the dragon.
We started our work together that day. And while some days I still pull away, we are making progress!
I have overcome much in last few days and can’t wait to achieve more success!
The first tasks Bune gave me was to think on when I changed to the dragon what was the cause.
Two times I can think of, when I’m protecting someone or something, when I’m extremely angry.
I need to be able to make the change in a more controlled way.
She told to feel myself as the dragon and to make notes of all the details. The size, the color, the talons, what it like to eat, where it slept. What my element was, All the details would be important.
Once I accomplished that she said for me to feel myself as the dragon. Feels my talons and what it feels like when grab hold of something. To feel everything as the dragon.
At first it was hard, the only time I changed that I felt and could sort of see myself was when these beings that seems like people came into Bune’s space and they seemed malicious so I changed to protect her. It was automatic and I didn’t think about it just happened.
I know my color is a red but like a burnt red that’s faded from the sun. With gold in some places. I know my element must be fire because I can breath fire and burn things.
My eyes are golden. My talons are huge. Like an enormous bird of prey, they are sharp and pierce through things when grabbed if not extremely careful.
The wings are impressive I think if I can’t toot my own horn. And I think I love flying. If I would allow myself the fun.
I believe the dragon enjoys diving into the ocean and eating fish. I feel that somehow. On a level I can fully explain yet.
This dragon is fierce when protecting anything. Whether it be a hoard of treasure or eggs. She’s not to be played with if she’s protecting.
