Going back through it?
Itâs been a little over 4 years since the first. It is time. I got the call.
Itâs late. Write up tomorrow. I had to turn on the zoom in feature to get it to correct the lighting as little as possible. Faint magenta light.
(Entry - 23AUG23)
Having completed this in 2020, I felt it was time for another round. I still have Shadow Wand, my Corrupted Stone, and original grimoire.
I will not need the dedication breaking ritual, the sanctuary candle, or other protective items. Itâs the realization that Iâve been here before, having completed it, and, having used these entities in a lot of ways since, what I should expect to face.
Absolutely isnât something I take lightly and I do have concerns. But progress isnât always a safe path and I donât fear to walk in the darkness any more than I fear the light.
I made the calls and invoked (evoked, external, depending) Legion.
Upon rending the veil, tentacles came out as a greeting. I anchored the open rift to a stone I grabbed from my yard, powered the anchor and rift with blood on the stone. I set the same restrictions as before for its use (these involve Legion being responsible for entities coming through, not harming my family and pets or entities I have coming through here in my regular practice, including transients).
Legion: âOld friend.â
Me: âI admit, it is nice to feel this again (so close, so full)â.
L: âArenât you excited to meet me?â
M: âYou represent coming to terms with pain, suffering, unpleasant things.â (He was chuckling)
L: âI do and you will see all of them.â
(I nodded. We have already spoken of the rules. He let me know that Work was âtoo good of fodder to not mess with, but we will not seek to get you fired (or similar)â. I was grateful, but this wasnât a promise, just a pledge of sorts)
L: âYou admit to liking the way this feels.â
M: âI do.â
L: âYou have strayed from your purpose. Too far into the Light.â
M: âOthers would disagree. I donât just follow your calls.â
L: âNoâŚbut you could.â
He left.
Note from 24AUG23 -
He was speaking about the conclusion to the first work through in 2020. He is correct. I could. The option is there. Has been. No ALL of Legion is full of Shadow People. In fact, there are several groups identifying as âLegionâ. Iâve met two and there were indications that since that sort of collective hive and name worked, there were more, though Iâve not met them. If all one sees are Shadow People when working with Legion, you should consider that they absolutely are not âjustâ Shadow People as described in the book. But thatâs for your practice and experience over time.
I know some live to serve the Dark, just as some live to serve the Light, however they define those things. But Iâm a vowed Taoist and seek balance.
He does have a point with the Light and straying into it. Most of my current practices are Yang-based while I wait to get the Yin aspects of the teachings presented. Some I can feel. Some have been shown in pictures and similar to me. Iâm working through these programs as an initiate as much for the experience as I want to make sure I more fully understand why this base may (or may not) be needed.
He greeted me when I entered my ritual space when I got home, but the conversation of today hasnât happened yet. I do feel the allure and miss that cold, dark blanket of their energies. He knows this - feels it, is amused by it, and this is likely a source of power for him to draw on - if I allow it.
24AUG23
L: âNo need for a formal ritual tonight. Call the Hat Man in the next few days and start the âchallengeâ with him.â
He left.
He could be using âchallengeâ, his emphasis, as a way to up the tension a bit. It didnât need to be said, except to try to get a reaction.
Very well.
Today was actually really stressful at work, but manageable. Legion knew I roped myself into cooking for a potluck that wasnât conceived of until yesterday, when I was out of the office. I fought (moderately, with consideration on both sides) with others in gov work most of the day when I refused to forward something with shaky analysis sources and my name on it (on their behalf). Happens, but my prior relationship and meeting challenges with Legion is why he gave me the day or two option.
Of course itâs still my decision. But itâs almost 2020 hours here and I have to be up in less than 8. I stayed up late to make the dedication and renewal and got significantly less sleep by the time I calmed down and my Benadryl kicked in. I think itâs important to not expect that sort of leeway, recognize I am the magician, and still be thankful for the leeway.
I could snap my fingers, force the Hat Man here, and rush the encounter, but why? It isnât necessary and Iâm not unsure of myself as a magician, my abilities, AND that I called upon them to do this again, even if nudged.
In general, Shadow People are one of those types of spirits that care less about collateral damage and, usually, longer term relationships. Hives, like Legion, can be different in that collective decisions are made, but donât confuse that with the inability or unwillingness to act individually.
No need to bow and kiss ass when theyâre decent, but recognize it. And donât expect it to last.
26AUG23
The Hat Man nodded approvingly as he entered.
HM: âGood. I was wondering when youâd cal. (He sent intent questioning my courage to do so, having âmuch to riskâ). Yes, weâve come a long way.â
M: âWe?â
HM: âYou donât think Iâd/weâd (Legion) really let you go (for good). We still work together in your dreams.â
M: âThen why call for another round?â (He seemed irritated at this)
HM: âItâs not the same. The control is different.â
(you MUST bring up the agreement with Legion to the entity and get their agreement to abide by it. Learned lesson from the first go-around. Ask if you want details or read the first Shadownomicon work through)
M: âDo you agree to abide by the same restrictions Legion agreed to?â
HM: âI do (no hesitation).â (I nodded)
HM: âThen we will begin.â
He left.
His demeanor and mannerisms suggest he things of me as a sort of agent, something to be used and that has value. Other times in the conversation, he would flashes of trials and challenges for me, but nothing of context in it. Just the knowledge that he is going to do all sorts of things. Some I would pick up on, some not.
I didnât set a time limit of 30 days. As I got ready to speak of it, Legion sent that I shouldnât. I have a feeling this will be more instructive this time around.
(Note - last time, the most instructive methods came from non-shadows, like Abaddon and Belial)
29AUG23
The Hat Man came to me out of ritual.
HM: âI want in on that one.â (a target of mine in another thread)
M: âThat is Iblisâ target for the Book of Smokeless Fire. Giving it to you would slap him in the face after I just called him out in my other work.â
HM: âWhoâs in charge here?â
M: âI am. You know the target has plenty of shadows. You didnât need to wait for me. But did.â
(He said nothing and left, but his gaze is still here.)
Catching upâŚ
30AUG23
Legion: " So, Abaddon has told you you were on your own this time"
Me: âYou act like that changes my point of view. I could feel it.â
L: âBut was it stated?â"
M" âNo.â
L: âNo. This leaves you more alone than last time, doesnât it?â
(He was trying to increase the affect that was supposed to have, the loneliness, the isolation.)
M: âNot the same as being helpless.â (He chuckled)
L: âNo, it isnât. That isnât why I called you during this daylight stretch. You want the ritual.â
M: âItâs been hinted at.â
L: âAnd so it shall be. You will perform the ritual. The Buyer gets a Shadow to call, stitched to an item in this case, a trinket.â
(This was voluntary on Legionâs part, but increases his/their exposure)
M: âYes, but there should be a protection for the purchaser or this would become a rental business I donât have time for, nor want to encourage.â
(He found this a,using)
L: âVery well. You know there will be a price. Blood or a Shadowâ
M: âHow much blood?â
L: âDepends on the spirit. (I waited expectantly) No more than a page (I was shown a blooded 8.5x11 page from a previous ritual here)â
M: "I would like stipulation from you for these spirits. No child victims)
L: âCan I really ensure that? (Victim was a broad word)â
M: âNo child harmâ
L: âDoneâ
M: âI will say the shadow is freed of the binding of this happens. Which will free it to then turn on the buyer or anyone else not covered by another agreement.â
L: âAgreedâ
He left.
As I typed this out, I called to him to get a verification. I also said that I would voraciously hunt any shadows that violated this or anyone I know personally because of my association with him/them.
Let me give you an example. I knew there was War in a specific region and I wanted to reduce victimization of, say. Women and children (clearly biased). Legion refused. I went on a hunt and did what I do until he agreedâŚ
So, this hive of Legion (there are others), knows I will act. And he knows that if I smells anything like that, I will STILL act.
I know some will say there is no dealing with Legion. I could kill as many as I wish and there will still be shadows. The shadow nature will ALWAYS be there. Iâve gone on wholesale hunts.
The only time there wonât be shadows is never. You must integrate (not necessarily indulge) those aspects to reduce the them.
Before someone gets too high and mighty, can you control the Light? Light always leaves a shadow. There is no other way.
I donât know many that can eliminate them. Not banishing, which kicks the can down the road for someone like me. Banishers really canât deal with them long term. I seek to control the behavior and will (unequivocally) kill any involving children. I have. I will again. Legion knows this.
Things have been quiet, but active. The shadows are still getting used to in the household. Itâs been some years since it was this heavily in the area, let alone without a few of the more stringent requirements - meaning more effect is likely within the household.
The portal is getting used and not always for this work through. Shadows I donât know and not focused on me are coming and going. Mostly, they stay out of the household. Most of these arenât the really powerful or malicious ones so far, just average ones.
I donât really know why they like using portals, tbh. There are shadows all over the place. Not around every corner or in every patch of darkness, but they can be felt frequently. My yard is now like a bus station with them coming and going, so Iâm assuming itâs for a reason. I could ask and confirm stuff I know or think I know, but the real perk is that it curries favor that I care about.
But it does have an influence in the environment and the people in it. There have been odd instances at work that I almost handledâŚless wellâŚthan I did because I felt I should take a step back. The others in my immediate space are social assholes that donât seem to have enough things to keep themselves busy without disturbing everyone in a hundred foot area (not kidding). Youâd think Iâd ask a shadow to torment them into silence, but that would be rewarding them. Instead, I called on a hag I was sent from a friend and gave her permission to feed as she pleased. This hag is attached to an item I have forâŚbad previous behavior. Sheâs enjoying the work and can feed (on them) as she pleases, so long as it fits my aims. I donât need it to be quiet, but it was getting really ridiculous and was taking up almost as much time as their actual work. Sorry, some of us have harder jobs to do and Iâm not risking hearing loss for moronic high school giggling
I knew it had to be partly Legionâs doing because I started sending my irritation, then anger, into the stone from work. It escalated so quickly that I figured out there was a link. Canât reward that then, can I? Itâs like paying Google to take away YouTube ads. Youâd now be part of the problem.
Unexpectedly, I almost feel like thereâs a sort of dance going on. Between me and Legion and me and the Hat Man. Itâs like weâre old friends whoâve both changed so much itâs a bit awkward. That is kinda comical in a way, because the only one thatâs changed a lot is myself. But there is a slow dance taking place and I know that they probably already have a good plan in place and Iâm waiting to experience it.
I was having a really significant moment tonight. It was a lifetime debt, which I paid, according to the Taoist school I am following.
But I can in, at the end of of the night, to this.
My shadow wand, obtained from dropped wood in Hawaii, snapped off when nothing should have done so.
I have been careful with it and have no mundane explanation.
I had planned an update tonight, but not this.
Since it was in great shape yesterday, Iâll be sure to do my due diligence.
I have several hundred feet of raw wood that can make another. If someone wants it and I know you, let me know.
I was told last night to call the Shadow Woman. Since I wasnât told to stop with the Hat Man, I will have some overlap, just like last time. Shadow Woman did come to say she had nothing to do with the wand snapping last night.
Whatâs been happening? HM has been hitting my inability to drown out sounds and using this against me at work. Itâs partly because of my night maneuvers in Iraq and partly from feeling unsafe during my childhood. Heâs been playing upon it for weeks now.
There were times where I literally had to leave my desk. I did speak to management about reducing the number of visitors coming by that end up with obnoxious levels of noise right next to my desk a dozen or more times a day. My job/work load demands that I stay focused and waste as little time as possible to properly analyze the material in a timely manner. Itâs stressful. HM has been playing up on that, too.
I ended up getting permission for specialized headphones, since itâs related to my documented PTSD and this usually takes care of the issue and Iâm not bothered by the high school horseshit.
It sounds petty and doesnât make sense to those who can tune things out like that, but it is what it is. Iâve never been able to tune that out since Iraq, without applying insane amounts of focus and concentration - which is not sustainable for even half the day and leaves me open to burnout over time.
Theyâve been turning up the pressure, for sure. Only way to come out the other side is to keep going until itâs finished.
Perfectly understandable with your PTSD. I donât know whatâs wrong with people when they canât understand that.
Thanks. They have no qualms about employing deaf or hard of hearing people (a good thing), but have issues with noise suppressing headphones, claiming itâs a safety concern. ⌠âŚ
Either theyâve never used noise cancelling and think it acts like that silence chamber gimmick you can walk though at the science center and that you canât hear anything outside of the headsets (unlikely) or they are just being intentionally obtuse and pain in the ass just because they can. Probably the latter because anyone with a brain knows they design those headphones in such a way they donât eliminate everything and you can still hear car horns sirens etc.
Well, regulations are regulations. If someone hadnât been a jackass somewhere, it wouldnât be in place, whether it ,makes sense (or is effective) or not. The Shadow People would take advantage of that just to get some darker energies from the ordeal. 