I’d suggest thinking long and hard about why you actually want to do the binding first. Then decide if you’re willing to deal with any consequences should the binding go awry.
I’ve seen the consequences when someone makes a binding unprepared. It can go wrong for both the target and the person doing the binding. Not long ago, a friend was the target of a binding that was ill thought out and it caused issues for my friend almost right away. I ended up being able to do it fairly easily, but it’s still a pain in the arse to do.
So think about the why before the how. Then, decide what you want out of the binding. Do you want this person to love you? Do you want them obsessed? Do you want their power bound and unable to be used? Or do you want all of the above? From there, look at rituals specific to your needs/wants as there are many ways to go about it.
Not trying to dissuade you from it, I apologise if it seems that way. But this can be SUPER powerful for something so relatively simple. There’s heaps of resources here, so you should find what you need with a quick search.
Hi Delilah.
I don’t need to think about it anymore because I have, for months. Now is the time to try and change my situation instead of thinking about it.
I’m going to at least try, to the best of my ability, to carry out an industrial strength binding - and yeah; I want this guy obsessed. chained to me.
you can’t dissuade me.
The problem lies in the fact that he’s long distance now, and I don’t own all of the materials (and I just can’t buy all that stuff so there will have to be substitutes.)
I need to find out how to properly do it, I don’t want to do a crappy binding
If I may make a suggestion here, it would be (based off what you’ve said here) not to start with the binding. The binding can always be done, but you may not need it. You could start with a spell to draw them to you and make their feelings toward you positive; someone like Sitri would good for that. He will also increase that person’s lust for you. Once you have them thinking about you and such, gauge whether you want to take it further. That will also increase the chances of you being able to get a personal item from them to strengthen the binding. It will be harder for the target to resist if you’re attacking on multiple levels.
And if you do go go through with the “industrial strength binding”, make sure you’ve read how to undo one. I’ve had to undo a few that have gone awry for both targets and magicians. The last one had the target’s pipes in their house exploding, caused them headaches and a string of bad luck. And I’ve had practitioner’s get stalked by the targets because they became completely unhinged in their obsession. Reading up on some basic candle reversal spells and, just in case, a full unbinding ritual should cover you there.
I wish you luck and hope everything works out for you
I believe you’re referring to a specific part of a ritual I mentioned above. Please see the two quotes below.
If that’s the case, I’m not going to provide a substitute. That ritual was given to me as is and I’m not giving alternatives to it.
If you’re interested in discussing distance bindings in general, I’m super curious as to your experience thus far and your ideas/opinions on it. If you’d like to share, then I’d be happy to have a conversation and throw in some of my thoughts on the topic as well.
Please forgive me for the following little lecture of sorts,
I’ve looked at your introduction, you say you’re on the newer side, I’m not quite sure what that means since everyone will say it’s something different, but there are less extravagant ways of doing bindings that you may want to consider instead of this. Obviously, I posted it to be seen and whatever and I’m not telling you what to do, I promise, but please consider that bindings can go horribly, awfully wrong as well. And please actually consider that. How we remember people is half the coin. Make sure you know yourself well enough to know the other side. Make sure you know your craft well enough that you aren’t making someone into a person they aren’t, if that’s not your intended goal. Make sure you know yourself well enough to know who you are and who you are not, not from a moral stance, but because sometimes these things fuck with your head. And finally, I’ll mention this story of mine again. Once upon a time, I really liked being with someone. I laid down in bed one evening intent on knowing everything, as it turns out I really started to know everything. And when I finally woke up (metaphorically), two years later, and saw the effects of what I’d walked into and tried to leave, I found the feat as impossible as I’d meant for it to be. Some people really are the best people, and some people are really meant to be together. It’s not would you trust them with your life, but are you okay to do everything they asked of you for the rest of forever? Unless it’s that person, or unless you have some other material (in place of emotional) reason, be really carefully what traps you may lay for yourself.
Anyways, as I said above, if you’d like to share where you’re coming from in terms of background with this type of thing, I’m happy to discuss some other things too.
This is such a fun idea we magicians (and other magic people) throw around and I feel like it’s not given as much attention, like real, in-depth attention as it should be so many of the times it’s mentioned. People just kind of drop it as a suggestion but I don’t see it truly explored online nearly enough, but maybe that’s also for the best.
Anyways though, I think your phrasing here is really interesting. You’ve said “unable to be used.” You haven’t at all implied they’ll be without it, just that it’s kind of latent of suppressed maybe? I don’t have much to say on the topic, but this is an intriguing concept for sure and I’m happy you mentioned it.
I’m not telling you not to use a ritual to try and get what you want, but I do hope you’ve thought about it before and you will again in preparation for your ritual.
If you’re talking about the ritual I posted, it’s really probably (it is) much better to just find another one. Also, since it seems this needs to be said given the context of your post, whether you end up with a “crappy binding” has absolutely nothing at all to do with your materials.
Like tying someone up, the person still is just as strong, they just can’t use their strength because they’re tied up. And I’ve always figured that’s how a binding would work.
I think of it like this; what better way to mess with someone than for them to know they’re capable of something, but be unable to do it? Taking something away is another thing entirely, but tying someone up and restricting them is equally as effective, and sometimes more damaging. You can keep coming back and kicking dirt at them that way.
This here is why I don’t do binding rituals. I’ve seen more go wrong than right if I’m honest. Because people don’t take into consideration that the person they’re binding to them has their own set of malfunctions. The target could be obsessive by nature, they could be cruel to people that they love and who love them because they think they won’t leave, they could be unstable and the binding could push them to the edge as intense feelings for someone are hard to deal with or the target could just be incompatible with them. These are all things to consider. And if it’s an ex that’s the target, there’s usually a reason they’re an ex and that reason could be amplified should the practitioner do the binding all slap dash and haphazard.
An example I could use is a baby witch (who has since been schooled and is now no longer an issue) who put a binding on a friend of mine. I know both parties in this story. We’ll call Baby Witch Jasmine and the target Richard… Jasmine did a VERY crappily done binding on Richard for an ill-advised reason. This binding has then affected Richard negatively and he was unsure why things were going horribly for him. Jasmine has panicked when she realised he binding was horribly done and has told Richard that she’d done a binding ritual on him and apologised profusely. Richard has then come to me, freaking out (he’s a total muggle and has no magical experience) and asking me what he should do. The binding ended up being very weak and I was able to reverse it with a candle reversal spell. I’ve then bound her in salt and put her in the freezer so she wouldn’t be able to do it again. Richard said he immediately felt “lighter” and hasn’t had issues since.
What I learnt from that experience basically confirmed my opinion that while often simple, binding rituals can have really unexpected side effects. What you want has to be clear and exact and you can’t half ass it. The magician has to be prepared for whatever outcome - whether intended or not and be willing to act. I also think that one shouldn’t do them unless they have experience in other areas like banishing and reversals. Or know someone that is and would be willing to help.
Magick has many, many benefits but when shit goes tits up, it really goes tits up.
The (only) reason I made this point is because @Alisa who I was replying to says something about being on the newer side in the intro posted (or maybe it was the journal). It was not as a blanket statement.
The clarification here is because I’ve seen a few places where you’re talking about bindings being a shitty choice with very broad terms (and/or catastrophizing possible endings to bindings that are not by any means ones that would be supported on this thread, which is relevant given @Alisa 's comments specifically related to binding rites described on this thread and no others, unless I’m misinterpreting @Alisa 's post somewhere) and I want to make sure I’m clear that, as in alignment with the title of this thread, I’m not supporting that view.
To this point, given the place (on the forum) we are, I’ll reply with the following:
On this point, I’ll softly disagree. Everything in scale and relation to what you’ve sought is my view. However, given the topic of thread, I’ll refrain from sharing more thoughts on this.
To this, I’m curious about discussing. Do you have a personal example? I’ve never had truly “unexpected” results with one, though further down there’s an example of something I didn’t plan/account for “correctly” (I don’t know if there’s a correct way, I just mean the first time around). I’m also of the view though that people often just don’t really know what they’re getting into or asking for. For example, when you open the doors to a burning building (or walk in if there are no doors), you should expect to see a burning building, yet when applied to magick many people seem to think the building should not appear to be on fire and in the process of becoming ruined. To be more clear, we ask for things and then are surprised to have exactly what we’ve pursued/sought out/asked for.
I know I’m out of order with the quotes, but I’d like to say something to this as well. I agree that magick shouldn’t be half-assed. However, I disagree about the clarity point you’ve made. While I know a lot of people have your stance, and I previously held it as well, I think it’s only really relevant in very specific conditions. For example, when making a list of things someone (the magician, practitioner, caster of the magic) wants. But, in the case I’m working with a spirit (that I know at least) or in the case I’m just having a calm ritual “alone” for some goal I have, I think (being intentionally, verbally, etc.) “exact” has more room to be counterproductive than helpful. However, this also has nothing to do with bindings, so let me make it.
Unless I’m fishing for deep, pretty language or writing out qualities in a person I want bound, I think broad strokes work pretty well. They capture more. Most bindings (of the kind I speak on, which aren’t just romantic for clairty) aren’t meant to just be little itty bitty things, instead they’re used because someone wants something, deeply and with much interest in having it. Bindings should be created from the mind, the heart, or both. Thus, the little ideas of how and when are where are all but useless to include. Instead, what should speak greater than any little (verbal, not energetic) fine-tuning, is the energy brought into the “ritual.” Regardless of whether ritual is a calm meditation, begging to the gods above (below?), or throwing around an assortment of herbs and trinkets, the energy (and the alignment it will seek out) is most important. What matters isn’t artificial impositions and rules, but rather the truth of the nature of you and your “request,” your want, desire, etc. You can’t lie in magick. Which may actually be another part of people getting things they don’t expect, if you go into ritual of two minds, you come out losing 100% of the time. You land neither left nor right, neither what you want nor what you claim to want, instead everything is muddled and fucked up.
With bindings, the reason I suggest (again, as said above, not to dissuade, but to ensure want) people really sit down and examine what they want has nothing to do with morals or anything similar. Instead, it’s because you need to be acting in alignment and in congruence with the values and the desires that you, yourself, actually and really hold. Otherwise, you’re just making a mess. A mess that will affect you most of all and that will eat at you until it’s been cleaned up. So, I know I’m no longer really talking in relation to that quote–and I think I’ve noted a couple agreements with other pats of the post as well–but my views.
In my opinion, the absolute best way to do them. I know I’m being contradictory, but one thing is what I’ll preach (hang on, I’ll say why) and another what I do/believe.
So, over the years, I’ve gotten much better at recognizing the things I want and the things I don’t want. I’m not quite always an expert, but I’m pretty good by now. Which means, when I find myself really wanting something, magic is there already. For the magician, etc. magic is in every breath, every touch of the fingertips against air, water, earth, keyboard, desk, door handle, human, etc. Magic lives in and through us. When I feel called to ritual, I hold it. When I want something and I think ritual is a good/interesting choice/opportunity, I hold it. But the reality is also that “ritual” only carries so much and means so much. Fancy tools and fun toys aren’t the ritual, aren’t the ceremony, aren’t the half of it. You are. I am. We are. The ritual is just an external representation of internal alchemy (I’m lacking an alternative word currently). The real goal, for me, is to be aligned in what I want and what I want to have, because then, then everything just is.
So when “haphazard” is mentioned, I have to laugh. Because nearly all my rituals, those that aren’t learning rituals (or ones I hold for others), are haphazard. When I use ritual here, I really do mean in temple and with candles, incense etc. (although not always with those things specifically). I’ve grown up knocking on the door to have what I want handed to me. Whims and “power” intermixing daily. Bindings are no different to me. I’ve done a couple bindings haphazardly, personal ones. They’ve all worked. A couple of them caught me by surprise and had to be undone/re-done because I needed to tailor my feelings a bit (so, on this we could consider something “unexpected” I guess, but what happened is that I thought this person would resist more than they did, but I got what I asked for/wanted with it; maybe I’ll reflect further on my stance regarding unexpected, maybe both things are true in their own settings).
I think there’s a power to “haphazard.” And that power is something that hasn’t been thought or reasoned through. It’s something emotional often. And emotions don’t always have a place in magick, though I love to endlessly talk about this topic in circles with a couple people especially, but sometimes they do, in my practice. They can be fun too, to deal with and in. So, while I don’t advocate for others haphazardly sitting down to hold binding rituals, the reason isn’t because I think they aren’t powerful, and it isn’t because they aren’t fun and awesome, it’s because we need to know ourselves (what we’re capable of, what we want, truly) before haphazard becomes a good choice. And I don’t presume to know which people are where on that path, but I think it’s often safest to tell people to make sure they’re sure and they’ll decide if haphazard is a good choice for themselves.
To this, I absolutely agree. A risk that comes with all bindings, the judgment of character of the parties, whether the caster is included or not.
And again, because apparently I have a tone about me in everything I say and do, I’m not actually just trying to be contradictory, I really believe in the value of differing opinions. First, because I think more people should be willing to say when they agree/disagree honestly. Second, because there’s a reason behind every single one of my agree/disagrees, and it’s well thought out and true to myself. And last, the topic is called what it is, I’m going to voice my opinions on everything on topic that shows up here.
Additionally, while I’ve quoted @Delilah_LeStrange a few times, the post as whole is meant in general because, again, it’s my topic to go off about bindings and obsessions and I’m eager at the opportunity to.
Allow me to clarify what I mean… I don’t necessarily think they’re a shitty choice; I think all types of rituals have their place and everyone has their own reasoning for doing whatever they choose. I do however think a lot of people take obsession lightly. It’s obsession. A literal, undying urge for something/someone. An inability to get that thing out of your head no matter what or how hard you try. Like addiction, an obsession is hard to break. And to be the subject of someone else’s obsession comes with its own pitfalls, some of which could be unpleasant. I have ADHD which causes me to hyperfixate on things and occasionally people. I’ll become obsessed for a while and it’s consuming both mentally and time wise. And I think a lot of people would benefit from some introspection first and deciding (in the context of a binding of obsession, not so much in binding another’s power, but I’ll touch on that again further along in my response) whether they want to and can handle being the subject of another’s obsession.
The reason things will go to hell with magick imo is people haven’t prepared. Not that they haven’t prepared for the ritual - a ritual can be spur of the moment and still be effective with minimal backlash/negative outcomes. People don’t prepare themselves mentally for even the outcome they want. Early on when I started working with spirits, I did a working with Dantalion. It was effective, but I was caught off guard by the outcome. To which Dantalion answered “did you not get what you wanted?” And I think that sums this point up well; a lot of people aren’t, as I stated, mentally prepared for an outcome, let alone a positive or negative one. So when they do get a negative outcome (even if it’s what they wanted), they panic and make things worse. Which is why I think, especially in these types of workings, that one should be prepared for things to go pear shaped even if they asked for pears if that makes sense.
Not one of my own; as someone with an obsessive nature I don’t think it prudent to do a binding where obsession is part of it. I’ve done bindings to stop people from doing things, but not to make them obsessed with me or anyone else. I’ve been the subject of another’s obsession and it was not a fun time in my life. They would turn up and wait for me outside friend’s houses, they would follow me in their car, wait for me outside school ( this was a VERY long time ago, probably longer than some that will read this have been alive lol) and even one time had one of their friends try to drag me out of one of my friend’s houses. It was damn scary. So in this case, while I only have observations of others’ bindings and the associated stories, I do have first hand experience of being on both ends of obsession.
I apologise, I can’t include any more quotes as every time J do, my keyboard keeps going over what I’m typing and I can’t see what I’m writing. I will continue to try and address your points as best I can though.
I think my main gripe isn’t with bindings, it’s more that people don’t respect that this is serious magick. I’m not at all saying that’s what @Alisa is doing or has done. If she was, she wouldn’t have engaged. But I have seen more than one person (most recently, the person I mentioned in my story previously I named “jasmine”) treat these sorts of rituals like some silly love spell they got out of a teen magazine that was written by some Instagram charlatan. They also don’t respect obsession itself and how that can affect them being on the receiving end.
Now, when I said haphazard, I meant it in it’s most literal way - devoid of any principle of organisation. Not so much impromtu or thrown together as that can still have some sense of organisation and you can still prepare for it in some way. I do a lot of magick that takes from chaos magick, so I often do rituals with what I’ve got on hand or no tools at all. So I agree with you that some of the best work done in magick can be spur of the moment. I can think of multiple occasions now when Belial has barged in all like “you ready to go? We’re doing XYZ. Get off your arse, let’s go”. And my unexpected visit from moloch the other night produced some of my best evocation work in the whole time I’ve been doing this. So it’s not so much that things are thrown together, it’s that they’re done so without thought or organisation. This is totally just my opinion as I am quite anal about things like object placement during a ritual and if it doesn’t feel “right” I can’t start until it is (unless I’m getting my arse kicked to get going).
Now to circle back to another kind of binding (let’s leave obsession for a moment) where you bind a persons power… Now this is something I’ve had to do multiple times and have had successes with. From binding an adversary in “exorcism salt” to separate them from their power, to freezer binding, to mirror boxes I, unfortunately, have had to do them all. Some very recently. And find these very effective. As I’ve mentioned in another comment on this thread, I see these as a way of metaphorically tying a person up. When someone is all tied up, their strength is still there, they just can’t access it. These sorts of bindings can be subtle and overt and I look at these bindings quite differently to ones where you’re binding a person to a person.
You’re probably right I do catastrophise binding people together. Not because of the binding itself, but because (like I said) they don’t respect just how powerful this is for relatively “simple” magick, they’re not menntally prepared for the outcome, they haven’t really thought through what they actually want to happen they just assume they want the person obsessed with them and they haven’t thought about why they actually want this. I don’t want to deter people from doing it because as I said, right at the start, all kinds of rituals have their place in magick. And a lot of people have great success with bindings for whatever reason theyre doing it be it love, lust or revenge etc. But a successful binding (or any ritual really) is one where you’re sure of what and why you want the outcome you’re going for.
Sorry for the long winded reply and if I talked in circles. It was very late when I wrote a lot of this. I do appreciate candour in conversation and agree wholeheartedly that disagreement is necessary. If you live in an echo chamber, you never learn anything new. I’ve only been at this a couple years now so I always appreciate the chance to discuss with and learn from people more experienced than myself. And debate and discussion triggers thought, thought triggers investigation and investigation breeds learning. And the day you stop learning is the day you might as well give up.