As someone who can easily neglect my practice for months at a time due to depression, I understand. I promise that all the divinities you commune with will be there when you are in the right-mind to come back and focus. Sometimes I find that what I really need is patience with myself.
Iām also dealing with depression but with help itās getting better but i feel like itās still hard to overcome my laziness to meditations but yeah Iām kind of in a good feeling now so might as well meditate. Thank you for the advice
I have meditations and ritual music I listen to when Iām in a state where Iām unmotivated to do ritual. Isnāt a guarantee, but it helps. I would start looking for Youtube videos and similar that, with repetition, ca help pull you out enough to do what you need to.
Lost of dark days and times in my life. I get it. I donāt want to clutter up your journal with a bunch of videos you may not like, so can I message some of them to you? Probably in the next few days? That work? Iāll include vverfault, too, in case theyāre helpful.
Oh youāre never cluttering up my journal. Iām happy your helping so thanks and of course you can pm me donāt worry
13/10/22
Thursday
Sad reality
So yesterday i was talking to a friend of mine when she showed me her sigils thatās when we saw alot of stuff being shown to us like fire and even the sigil being in a red glow and i promise it wasnāt her doing as she doesnāt know how to use filters in the app and then we tried using fliters and it still communicated which is not supposed to happen without a face and well I thought Iāll try it on mine but to no avail and then i thought Iāll make her ask the sigil if they have anything to tell me to see if theyāll show anything and not one not even single one of them sigils responded they were all silent. I know itās silly thing to be worried about but thatās when i realised none of this work with me as i thought they did especially Asmodeus cause he didnāt respond on both her and my sigil of his when i tried to have him talk to me. I realised that Iām actually kinda loner and that none of spirits even wanna work with me. I have cried alot enough. I have always been interested in the occult but now Iām starting to think maybe they donāt like me so whatās the use of me trying if i get no response but silence from them. Everyone always have them by their side whenever theyāre going through something so donāt tell me they hear cause nope. If they were there and care for me then they would have been there for me when i was going through all this pain and stress. I just wanna scream out loud and cry out loud but i canāt instead all i can do is fake like Iām ok. I try to distract myself with stuff to not cry or think of it but i canāt hide or hold this anymore. Please be glad and thankful for the spirits you have cause you donāt know how much people like me have it difficult and wish we had a genuine deity cared for us but noā¦
As pretty much with people, so what? If they donāt like you, thatās fine. The ocean is full of fish. Or the astral is full of spirits.
Find others. If demons donāt really mix well with you, try angels, or any ancient pantheon. Have a sense of humor? Then call upon the greatest jester of Olympus, Hermes the one who trolls.
Also, that dick Lucifer bitch slapped me once
Its not its full of plastic, and the fish are dying. Ooops
We forget sometimes that there are always spirits aroundā¦ everywhere. We just dont have to ārelyā on angels and demons and all-the-well-known for communication or help.
Itās not that simple though, because spirits can and will be opportunistic and backstabbing too.
You as the witch are the most important ingredient in magick.
I did try calling alot of pantheons but it didnāt feel like none of them wanted to work with me but Iāll try thanks.
Wow i didnāt know hermes was like that. Thatās a first time Iām hearing that
Omg if you donāt mind me asking what the fuck happened for him to do that?
I know they could. Thanks for the advice
Nothing. He just doesnāt like me. Weāre in more civil terms now, but Iām still not the sort of person he would like to have around, clearly.
I kind of dont believe in being a spirits āchosen oneā although they do appear complimentary to our current mindset and state I feelā¦ .
Iād say, first be careful to think that no spirit is interested in you.
Try developing a relationship with some of the Gods. That is, a Pantheon. I donāt think you can go wrong with the Gods. The Almighty and the Encosmic Gods have formed you, just as they have formed all things in the cosmos, so certainly they have interest in you. You are, after all, part of this singular unified being that is the cosmos. Everything moves together.
See my post here on the Gods:
Thatās werid. No one can hate you for no reason there should be a reason he might be hating on you.
I never said anything about being the chosen one and i donāt believe in that cause if anyone did say that theyāre either a narcissistic or a parasite. Just sayin my opinion sorry
Thanks
Also Iāll check it out.
It was more ā¦generally speaking. Of course I dont want to discuss spirit relationships in YOUR journalā¦You do you.
I donāt think the guy really hates meā¦ just that Iām not his cup of tea, which makes sense, Iām from a very different tribe after all.
No itās ok. You can tell me on pms if you want and Iāll try my best to help you