I am changed.
It’s no secret, to my dogs, my friends, my family, or even acquaintances that I had a favorite dog. His name was Mr. Charles.
Unexpectedly, at 5 years old, Charles met his untimely end after a bad bout of IVDD that seemed to escalate overnight. Grief is difficult and long-standing in the house, but this one hit different. This one changed something in me, and for that I am fearful.
I am not worried about my own safety (and I’m requesting that you don’t either). I have concluded that I’ll be here for a while to do whatever it is I’m supposed to do, but this came at a time when I already wasn’t satisfied with a lot of things in my life. This worsened that already raw wound.
Only time will tell what is left in the aftermath, but I’ve been given a few indications that the lesson here is something I don’t understand yet and beyond the obvious (as all lessons are).
But my anger feels boundless, just as my will feels strong.