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Its so strange being diabetic like things that you would think would spike your sugar dont do as bad as things that would seem better for you.
Like candy honestly doesn’t do me as bad as when I eat carbs.
Eating alot of protein does great and I dont get those insane hunger pains that make me feel like Im starving. Even though my fat ass reflection says, bitch you aint starving!..
Orange I can only have if its trying to bottom out, any other time it will send it through the roof. Which sucks, I love orange juice.
This morning I wasnt feeling too great and really wanted orange juice. But i settled for apple juice because it doesn’t spike it as bad. But when you read the labels apple juice has more sugar. 
I love ice cream and cant really have it. But if I am fortunate enough to find frozen yogurt, it tastes just like ice cream and I seem to able to eat it just fine. I was lucky on my cruise that they had frozen yogurt at the ice cream stand. And it was already included in what I had paid for. So, I was living it up with my all I could eat frozen yogurt.
I seem to live these days off slim jims. The ones with high protein and things with peanut butter. Luckily, I love peanut butter.
Eating a whole meal makes me feel ugh…
I cooked a great meal last night, but now ugh… its just too much.
My sugar seems to also spike and then suddenly drop when I eat a full meal. So it seems better for me to just have the protein. Like just the chicken strips, or just the burger. Nothing extra. No sides.
Oh well. Such is life.
It wouldn’t be a problem if I didnt love food so much 
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If you love something you let it go. If it comes back to you its yours. If not it was never meant to be.
2023 Im letting go.
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This shop has had this ring for about two years and I have always wanted it. I would put it in my cart and take it out. Put it in my cart and take it out. Yesterday I saw that it was discounted so naturally, I bought the ring.
I dont know what the pull is for this ring. Its obviously not a genuine stone or gold or silver. But there is just something about it.
I think I can use the stone part as a type of black mirror. I have a couple of ideas for it running through my head.
Im so excited though. I will finally have something that I wanted for so long.
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it’s a beautiful ring 
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Thank you!
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It was shipped today!! Im excited!
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Here it is. The truth. I was having a private conversation with someone about doing a binding. And they said it should feel like hands reaching out and pulling you in. (Triggered a memory)
Did I not have a consultation with a certain black magician about a very specific wall in his temple that was “dedicated” to Hekate.
And what did I say? I was around the wall in your temple and hands reached out and pulled me into the wall.
So lets be honest it was a binding. But ok. Im fine with that.
But you sat there on the phone with me while I described what happened and played fucking dumb about it. As experienced as you claimed to be how could you not know what happened to me?
And how could you not put two and two together , when I descibed what happened to me and it was meant for Hekate.
Well ok I needed to figure it out for myself. Ok. Hard lesson but I can take that.
What I cant take is what you said about your gf being the … what was it living representation of Hekate??? Da fuq??
You literally sat there knowing what I shared with you and said that … knowing I would see it. Ultimate disrespect.
On top of that, I protected you. Through it all. All through the hurt all the betrayal. all of it. I stayed and protected you. Even after the ridiculous boot. I protected you.
So let me let you in on something. 3 different groups were after you. One sent the wolves, one sent the fireballs and one was the group that removed me. And while i dont know every single one as I was severly sick with covid at the time. I do know one. The one I called the leader with the medallion. I know exactly who that one is. But why should I bother? Maybe he did me a favor.
I was sick and fighting off hits on you. And you still tossed me out like trash.
You should have just ripped my heart out and stomped on it. Thats literally what you did anyway. I loved you so much. I fought your battles. I protected you. Your circle. Everyone.
Think about it. How is it I can read a magicians circle and get inside? Hmmm…
Reminds of something asked of Hekate all the time, gaurd the circle that we make.?? Ring any bells?? Lend your power to our spells.???
Mistress of magick. Magick…already there the minute it starts.
So theres the truth… why everyone thinks I just snapped for no reason.
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I ask this as someone who has many ailments, can’t all these healing spirits do something for diabetes? And if you’ve asked them before and they haven’t done anything, then what’s the point of their existence? I have a physical healing mantra from aa Raphael I got it through a good magician and chant it for my tooth and it increased the rate of decay of my tooth many times and now I am waiting for it to fall out
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Im sure they can. My problem is mostly my own stubborn hard headedness. Not wanting to change.
I will eat right and do as should for a while and then I slip up.
You still have to put in your own effort even with healing spirits.
Plus, it must be something that I just need to experience. Lessons I need to learn.
Four demons did cure me from a severe case of Covid. So, yes they can heal. No doubt. I was basically on my death bed.
But for the diabetes, i think there are lessons I have to learn and things I must learn to do.
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Maybe the something they can do isn’t what you want them to do and so you didn’t notice what they did do or it’s a timing thing :person_shrugging
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I know what Im going to do with my ring.
A black mirror for death ring ,conveniently on my finger.
The way is shut but not if I open it…
I am a gatekeeper.
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232 to 300…
You know you want me 
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Lets see how they like me now.
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