Ok, so I was having a think earlier and I had an idea. However wrong or right the idea may be, it’s been bugging me…
But most of us aren’t born into witchcraft, which in the cases of most of us here is LHP, so something has to be the catalyst for us ending up on the LHP.
I know my final push was leaving my abusive ex, learning Lilith’s story and identifying with it. Then successfully invoking both her and Astaroth (who yelled at me as I was wearing a cross- it matched my outfit, don’t judge lol), then realising that Belial had been trying to contact me for years through signs and dreams. There has been many other little things over the years (including the spider story I’ll be happy to share if anyone asks) and a fascination with the occult since I was a child and basically “running” from my xtian roots
I just thought it’d be interesting to hear other people’s villain origin stories. I’m sure we all have a common thread that unites us somehow, even if we are a solitary sort of “group”
So any stories you have to share, I would love to read.
It was a dark and stormy night and… I came across and article by Grant Morrison called “Pop Magick”. In it, they explained the basics of chaos magick. So, in my neverending curiosity, I said “welp, I’m an atheist but this sounds like hypnosis stuff, I’ll give it a shot.” Since I know I’m not particularly gifted for more things, I knew I would have to insist and should not quick fast. Eventually it happened to work.
There was a point in time where I used to go to church basically daily either for communion or for group prayer type stuff. One day after communion, I slipped off into a little side grotto of the cathedral for solo silent and reflective prayer. And as I was on my knees this little spider was descending on its little silk and started to wander. I knelt there, transfixed on this tiny little dude as he did his spider shit.
And a thought occurred to me; that spider has no concept of God. It just is. It does what it has to do to survive and that’s it. And I began to wonder how much different I truly was to that spider. I’m just here. I’m just getting by. Why should the caprice of some dude that has never once answered my cries for help as a child in foster care, or whom I begged to make my husband stop drinking, who I was now knelt before thanking for all that bullshit. Why couldn’t I be like that spider and just be? Why couldn’t I just do what I need to do to get by?
Which started my atheist phase… Which then, after a series of events like someone (I’ve since learnt was Belial) trying to contact me. Through dreams and random events like my ex hurling drunken abuse and me saying in my head “whatever you were that was here last night could help out, please stop him” and he fell down the stairs. Or a dream that would take too long to explain fully. Took four years to find our it was Belial, but now I know he was looking out for me not the god I fell on knees, singing the praises of for putting me in a life he planned for me that was so much heartache and pain… Then I found out I have control. That I have influence.
Then leaving my ex and leaning into Lilith’s story and identifying with someone so powerful.who went through the same thing only to become more beautiful and magnificent than before… That was the final.push.
And here I am. Because of a spider starting shit lol.
I used to be running away from a lot. Mostly now, I’m running toward things.
If you mean why am I here, it’s because I wanted something (but I won’t name it here). I knelt down in front of my bed every night to ask and plead and beg and I was refused. Maybe I was being unreasonable, even if the roots of my request weren’t, maybe that god doesn’t give out what I wanted. But I found another one—Dantalion—who lifted my chin, looked into my eyes, and said “Trust.” And so I have.
I used to be running away from myself, from my family, from my choices, from theirs, and so much else. Magick was, for me, a quick fix to a lot. I think that’s part of why I’m so hellbent on learning from spirits now, to have isn’t the complicated part, it’s understanding that I’m most seeking out. I made a promise last year, no more running (away). It brought me here, it won’t lead me away.
What put me over the edge, the reason I was in that ritual though, I felt like I had no control over anything at all and all my choices had been taken and I was tired of groveling to an angry and unforgiving, rigid and demonic god. I needed to know I could make a choice for myself, and so I did. I was 16 and my world was falling apart, just beginning to in retrospect. I just needed a lifeline and Dantalion reached out his hand to me, gave me what I wanted and showed me a taste of this world. No matter where I turned after that, magick was always one (possible) answer and solution.
You have been warned don’t laughs satan don’t like humans so i sad fuck you bokron and here is my story
A group of unknowns wanted me dead people mostly like you in a very nasty way and some of them are people I wanted to ask you if anything looks familiar to you. I have sorted out the story a bit but not completely, a lot has happened, I had to think a lot about it because it lasted more than a year that “psychosis” or how Lucifer said it to his son who had to tell me when I won that I had to admit that it was the best grand theft auto ever made, I had to laugh about it but well it concerns attacks with black magic ‘statesman’ here Netherlands Barnhoorn Swede britanica, the suicide king, the elusive, the hated, vinyard valkier the tribal chief demon, the celestial anunaki, max maximilian with his music box and caregiver, the twins of Satan looking like ying and yang twins michelen men and black and a white but then without swim rings (damian and pandemonium together they are called …) who pretend to be children one very naughty and one very scared who are lost and they are looking for their brothers and you can help them because you are the so-called chosen one the messiah the apostle or their new step mom or with me they were Muslims and came to see and judge if I was really Muslim and they play a game so deadly that Victorina of the hated a djinn with wings who always tried to strangle me at night said that this was the first time they had lost briefly and simply explained all creations of God in puzzle form playing card but put together or set or missing something wrong but form something that lives but does not match that is held by black magic and therefore mentally incompetent also they are fooled to work against you on a floating 7 layer round kind of card house (cake shape) where you go up and down kind of bilocation and elevator feeling and everywhere comes (life threatening device there must be something to get it out) I think as a Muslim 7 earths or dimensions just like with seven heavens that follows later and game that you can never win if you as a human have no hearing or vision abnormalities because at some point you start to sink and it becomes unstable you sink and then you have sold your soul then you have to serve or meet iblis lucifer or you drown or driven to madness with death as a follow what you have to do is get to know everyone break the connection and put everyone together how he/she created by Allah God and then sort by race and the cards in a stack and back in the packaging with for example djinn types eagle head, spider, wolf, ifrit, satans, human drawing etc. and then you are proclaimed the winner and you see yourself on a block in the middle of a chess board where at the beginning you see 1 chess piece with a goat deer head in the middle and everything you see in and distorted image holographic kind of green gray effect that is only short the game explained and as you know everything with that fucking lucifer has two sides because it can get complicated because you have people who are attacked and you have the perpetrators who also are fooled but earn from it for example Luciferians black magicians kabbalists hardcore freemasons psychologists (secret terms tax benefit paradise / coffee grounds / hatsie kidee / go on vacation / fantastico / jemig de pemig / hypnosis on and off) who have a contract with iblis lucifer who wear a kind of overall that when they turn it on you hear satans and other djinns walking and the ground under you shakes to scare you hit molest in short terrorize and that they can control you if you are under the influence of drugs or medicines and that everywhere comes from the djinn world that they can connect and disconnect to senses of the victim just like (neo in the matrix) who also gets one without him noticing to pass through djinn or satans whisper to practice magic
My mother asked for the aid of various spirits that she works with because she wanted me to born healthy (it happened but that’s another story).
My father believed in magick, my grandmother too, most of my family are involved into lodges, etc.
And the thing that made me take action into this, it was that I couldn’t understand what was going on because no one really seemed interested about explaining me, they even invalidated my concerns.
In that moment I understood that I needed to do something about it.
I’m honestly not sure. My mother said a few things when. I was young. But they weren’t magick related pet se, they more related to clairaudience. But my mother was also as mad as a shithouse rat, so it could’ve all been bullshit.
I do know I’ve picked some things up really easily and other shit I struggle with just like everyone else. Being diagnosed with ADHD at 36 explained a lot of the struggle bits lol. But I do finally feel like I’ve found my flow… Almost.