John Knox’s random thoughts

Why is it so hard for me to meditate?
I seem to immediately start asking questions and being inquisitive when I try to meditate. It’s a two-edged sword: my strong analytical ability strengthens my material manifestations from my magic

But, creates a strong disconnect between my personality and my intelligence. This in turn enhanced magical abilities and senses, but inflicts a lot of emotional and psychological pain: it’s an ocean of pain.

Meditation is the cure. I need to get into a meditation routine.

Today, I timed myself and meditated for thirty seconds. Tomorrow I’ll go for forty, each day increasing by ten seconds. The increase is small so manageable to maintain and this journal will keep me accountable.

I’m dealing with anxiety that’s like cancer and i tried to do a hydra snake joint visualization ceremony to fight it. I’ll develop this ceremony every day as well. Adding color, behavior to the snake, more areas in the body they’ll go to and bite and stone with with their poison.

Today’s poison was black, red and green. it doesn’t have to change every day but on a need basis.


Forgive me, but I need sound to meditate. Concentration issues and all that. Consider something like Paleowolf - Origins. Have used it for years. I enjoy listening to it at this point, but haven’t needed it for ritual for a while.


Thank you @norse900
I’ll experiment with your suggestion.
Today I was able to do forty seconds like I planned.
It wasn’t as hard as I imagined it to be.

The snakes seem to be concentrated in my stomach area.


The first ceremony I did was on feb, 6th i did a visionary magic working for the victims in hatay area in Turkey.
Just did another ceremony for them: manipulated three pictures, two of choppers and one of a victim on a stretcher for better outcomes.

My magical poem: “ the earth shakes and my heart it break when innocents are lost.

Ones who haven’t sinned.

The earth in Turkey again firm be.

Its mouth it’ll close and venom it shall not spit.

Safe and sound the thousands whose lives were almost over are.

Follow up in two weeks to see if it worked: feb, 25th


Woke up late so didn’t do the fifty seconds meditation this morning. Will do it now on the train. Did the meditation. Feels good.

Working on bringing down the organization in my other post


13:02 my time
Did a glamour spell on myself at 11:58 my time.
Also combined a wealth spell, baneful spell against my enemies.

This was a combination of poetic and visionary magic.


Did this working yesterday as well. Just yesterday didn’t cut parts of my head and wreaked havoc on them like today.
16:10 my time
Separated my head from my body and tried other forms of visionary magic: tried creating multiple heads, making the background black the eyelids also more shadows. Then, went to delete some of the mutilated heads of myself.

Relaxed today all day. More ordered thinking.

The purpose of this working is to get out of my head and stop my anxiety.

I’m having a headache that’s beginning to stop when drank highly carbonated plain water soda.


Did an abundance working today: both poetic and visionary in Arianna‘s group.

Will work with ReyCuervo’s task today as well.

Started recording my progress with times and working types in my journal.

Did a one minute meditation. Tomorrow I plan to do one minute and ten seconds meditation


6:48 my time

Did one minute and ten seconds meditation. Almost had no thoughts. Had a real calm period yesterday between 16:00 and 18:00 approximately.

Then the anxiety returned. It came in waves, mostly with heart palpitations, ending in the worst period immediately before falling asleep.

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14:35 my time

A second relaxed period started
Now 15:39 still relaxed
Feel like a huge weight lifted from my shoulders

Even a bit tired
18:05 already fell a bit stressed when I returned home with my rat if a neighbor
21:30 very distressed

another anti anxiety working:
Imagined my heart of stone surrounded by eight four petaled clovers. Sand was running through the heart and destroying it.

The heart of stone destroyed by sand its peer until it disappears. It takes all power from itself and dies and stops crying and my tormenting by repetitive futile thoughts.

Manipulated a picture of the left side of my chest on my phone and apparently feel better. Will update with progress today and later in the week

Did one minute and twenty seconds of meditation tomorrow one minute and thirty seconds

Got into another period of intense calm and happiness will log how long it lasts

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doing a abundance working on myself: imagining gold silver rubies diamonds on me an a crown on my head and dressed in regal robes.

Feel important and good.

Check results money, reputation and charisma in a week on February,22 9:00

Did a working for sunshine and a warm day after having a freezing morning and heavy storm clouds
Check results Today at 13:00 19% success. Sun came out, easy clouds but only 59degrees

My anti anxiety working is basically has intermittent success. Peak of anxiety before bed, low of anxiety at 16:00 to 17:45

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Did one minute thirty seconds meditation, had some negative thoughts about my rat neighbor but not many.

Did my abundance visionary working

Did baneful visionary magic against my rat snitching neighbor

Did a visionary healing ritual for myself from my cold
Baneful poetic workings against my ratting neighbor

One minute and fifty seconds of meditation done

Meditated for two minutes. Reading Neville Goddard’s works and enjoying them immensely.

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An interesting play on anxiety. A low anxious state with low heart palpitations.

Meditated for one minute and twenty seconds

Is philosophy worth it for me? I’ll never stop trying to understand the universe.

I need to get everything. I need to explain the world
To myself. I need to apply the lessons of my analytical studies of the world.

I’m taking the blue pill. I’m going through the daily grind. I don’t want to continue doing that.

But as time goes on, I grow in magical power and my abilities improve.


Meditated for two minutes and twenty seconds