A Wander Through the Gates

He’s gets quite greedy sometimes; he must have said “more” at least four or five times when I was putting blood on the sigil. It looked like paint by the end.

I apparently have to put my foot down and give myself the same respect I give others. Spent a long time considering the needs of someone else and threw my wants and needs aside. If there’s anyone who can teach you to be a C U next Tuesday, it’s Belial lmao.

I’ll have to give it a read… He’s an excellent spirit. Very blunt and to the point, so I can see why some can be a little put off by him. But he has a dry humour I appreciate. Stuff like speaking to me in French when J don’t speak a word because he wanted me to address him differently, or scaring the shit out of me intentionally during our first meeting. I describe him like electricity - he can power things up, or utterly annihilate them. Very cool dude indeed


I’m talking about Abaddon in the last bit…


So was I.


It Ain't Nothin' But Music - YouTube random song in my head today…


Devils Night Fight Music - song and lyrics by D12 | Spotify this album has been an experience… I wonder why I’ve been directed towards one of the most messed up albums.

Feeling like shit today. Woken up with a sore throat and the child was an absolute little jerk this morning. So that hasn’t helped. And I woke up in the middle of a dream this morning. Can’t remember much of it, but I don’t dream often (on purpose) so it threw me.

Belial said he likes this song. I don’t blame him. It’s an excellent song. He wants me to play it again when we’re in ritual… We haven’t finished the album yet, dear. I have a feeling there’s a song he’ll like more. Or maybe he just likes the vibe. We’ll find out.

Ugh… I need to do things. I cannot be arsed doing things. Does having a nap count?



Just to show you how craptacular the camera is on this awful phone, a pic of the working I just finished. Have to write an entry right away so I don’t forget shit. And sorry to the person who got my rambling message just now, but I had to say it right TF away lol

Small offering for Abaddon today as he wasn’t the spirit I was going to be focusing on; Belial was meant to be… Let me give you some back story.

I’m in a group chat type thing and one particular young lady has showed interest in demonaltry. So I’ve been trying to help in the ways I would’ve liked to be helped (because if I’d known the shit I do now when I started, I’d not have pissed spirits off) but trying to stay hands off too so she can learn. However, she seems intent on following some really bad teaching and doing some silly shit. I’m no expert or anything, I’d barely consider myself better than a beginner, but I am still cranky about how I was spoken to. She’s made her bed, and she’s going to have to lay in it to learn. I think she’s gone and given blood to a spirit that isnt the one she thought it was… So I may or may not have sent some “help” to speed up her learning process. Is it my ego? Possibly. Will this be better for her in the long run? Possibly.

I’m hoping my little intervention will get her back on the right track. Not my right track because the LHP is often a path we have to walk alone, but hers. She is a good person, but has bad guidance and is far too cocky. She’ll end up getting hurt and while I can’t prevent that, I think I have a responsibility to at least say “hey, you’re gonna get hurt”

Belial seemed to want to jump on this, probably because she’s fascinated with him and he is a great teacher. It was strange that Lilith decided to pop in, but I wasn’t going to say no. I mean, who says no to Lilith? Lol.

I blooded Belial’s sigil and a black candle, lit a black candle for Lilith and incense for both. Abaddon was given his two red candles and a glass of cold water and he stayed as an observer. Belial and Lilith have agreed to assist in return for payment including some pink roses for Lilith and stuff I won’t share for Belial. She will not be hurt, but a lesson (and a damn harsh one) will be taught.

I finished the ritual, advised Lilith she could leave and went into meditation with Belial. That’s when things went… Well, they went up a notch or several. He likes to throw his weight around sometimes I’m finding and likes to show the magician that he’s powerful. And it’s often sexual in nature. At least, it seems to be with us.

I could feel this sensation like I was falling forwards, like face first, into nothingness. Like, just falling into a blue/black hole. Then I could feel hands on my face, gently at first like being brushed by someone’s fingertips and them sorta holding them there. Then, it felt like my whole head was being held and the falling sensation stopped. It was like I was being made to look at something, but I couldn’t see what it was. Then a feeling I could only describe as like an audio visual convulsion happened; flashes of light/images and darkness. All so fast I couldn’t make them out. The whole time, I was getting radio silence from Belial. Not a word. I know he was there because it was almost certainly his hands holding my face though and because he’d spoken earlier. And then a feeling I can only describe as like a “high”; a strange, uplifted, buzzy kind of feeling. I need to burn the sigil with the fire from the black candle and use the one I made the other day. Thought I lost it and found it as I finished up.

So yes, that’s my long winded, rambling story about today lol.


Pic didn’t attach… Here it is


The sigil that is now unusable


Today is what I would call a shitty day. My anxiety is through the damn roof, I have to take the span to see his father and I really just wanna go back to bed. Go back to bed, then have a late lunch and then have some company later who doesn’t care about my (as eloquently described by a mate of mine) “Satan shit” being out.

My ex is a terrible person. Like, i honestly don’t hate many people, but this guy makes me want to just… Idk, it’s hard to explain. Let’s just say that my spirit mates aren’t fans of his. Nd they’re excellent judges of character.

Which brings me to what I plan on doing this evening. He’s really pissed me off by being pushy with visitation with our son. Long story short, they were contacting me on a number that’s not currently in use (not my fault as the supervisors for the visits have both numbers) and didn’t get the right one til about 10pm. The only reason I said yes was because of the kiddo, but I am thoroughly unimpressed that he seems to think that he has rights to my time as I have to travel out of my way to do the visits. So I’m goig to strike back in the only way I know how; with Magick.

I’ve directed VK Jehenaum’s hex rite of a Abaddon at him before and it’s been moderately effective. My recitations of the rites of multiplicity and calamity were terrible, so Idk if they stuck. So the plan is to throw everything I have into this. I can’t let him keep doing this and think it is ok. He needs to be taken down several pegs. He needs to really feel the pain he’s caused, not just me, but all the people he’s hurt. Because narcissists like him don’t care unless they are made care. I almost feel like it’s my responsibility to make this happen; I got away from him, but what’s he going to do to the next woman? Or random guy at a bar? Or his parents (not that I particularly care about them tbh. They’ve been pandering to him his whole life) for that matter?

He needs to suffer and suffer greatly. He needs to be confronted with his actions and to see that people don’t have to tolerate that shit. So, over the weekend, I’m going to do the rites of multiplicity, calamity, abaddons hex rite, something with Belial and I may call some old friends in Naberius and Forcalor. Both of whom are excellent baneful spirits.

The definition of insanity is doing the same thing repeatedly and expecting new results. It feels like thats what I’ve been doing. So, no more half measures, no more excuses - time to step up my game.

If anyone has any suggestions of what spells/rites/hexes could be useful, I’d appreciate your recommendations. I’m still a bit new at this so it would help immensely. Like, I’m not a total noob, but I’ve only been at this maybe a year like as a focus. I’m good at what I do, but I’m not good enough to not need buckets of help lol.

I’ll do another entry when I get through the three rites I’m doing tonight


I didn’t get to do my invocation the night I originally intended to due to having some issues with my anxiety. Didn’t feel comfortable doing it when I felt that edgy and shit. So I’m a day behind on everything.

Ended up getting to do some of what I wanted to do done (but not everything) last night. And I got snapped out of trance by hearing a damn mouse. So it wasn’t exactly my best work. I got the the point where I was asking what would be expected of me in return when I snapped out.

The plan is to do it again tonight and get everything clarified with Belial. Then one by one over the week, contact the spirits I want to have involved in my little plan and see what they would like for helping. After I’ve sorted Belial tonight, I’ll move to Forcalor, then Naberius, then I’ll do the rites of calamity, multiplicity and the hex rite of Abaddon. I will then move on to giving all four spirits the offerings they asked for and contacting the spirits as a group to confirm what is expected of them.

It is going to be a slow and probably pretty tiring process, but hopefully, the trade off is worth it.


I have a stalker. Well, sort of stalker. Guy online who just wont take the hint… Like, he found out that I’d broken up with my partner of three years and he sent me pictures of his inadequate phallus.

He’d disappeared a while back, so I’d thought it was the end of it. But he came back recently and I made the mistake of being nice. Now, he won’t leave me alone. He rang me at 3am this morning, waking me up and making me miss my alarm a few hours later.

Yes, I know… I am going to block him. I’ve told him in the past to back off, and he did for a while. But this is too much. I’m also going to attempt an invisibility spell so that he doesn’t find me or try to contact me again. I’m hoping it will also shield me from my ex. I will be using the one posted by Mike Bee (sorry, idk how to tag). When I can find the ritual, I will post a link.


“Suffering is a chance for a lesson” said Belial.
“But I’ve already suffered. Isn’t it enough?” I asked.
“You’ve suffered enough in those ways,” he said “but there are still lessons to be learnt”

I’ve been thinking about this exchange that happened about 20 minutes ago and I can’t get it out of my head. I know what it’s referring to, but I don’t understand the lesson to be learnt from it specifically. It’s it to appreciate when I’m not feeling like absolute boiled shite? Is it so that I don’t throw my energy away on worthless things and focus on important stuff? I’m sure I’ll find out soon enough.

Tonight, some make-up offerings to a few spirits. I believe I upset Dantalion by burning his candle when I had company over, so I made him some tea I know he likes and lit a candle for him. Candles for Belial and Abaddon has become damaged, and while they weren’t too angry about it, I figured I should make offerings, so a new blooded candle for Belial (along with some blood on his sigil and a cup of black coffee) and a fresh candle and some camomile tea for Abaddon. I also have Lilith a small amount of blood and lit her candle. There are currently tealight candles burning away on the altar, but all other cabbages are extinguished.

I’m going to bed now. Have had dreams the last few nights which is unusual for me. Can’t remember them, but I know I had them. Wonder if I’ll have any tonight


As in sure you surmised, in do not have any cabbages burning … that is meant to say candles lol.

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I found some actual copal today. Quite happy. Been looking for incense or resin for a while. Nice little score


Does anyone else hate being stood up? Yeah, me too. But anyways…

It’s been an uneventful few days. Need to buy a new phone and get one
Asap. It’s a hot one today, 37c here in Melbourne, so it’s not happening today.

Instead, I have candles to burn… I asked who wants what and have a few answers. Need to double check as I’m not sure I have them all right. Unless I’m called to, I’m not doing any ritual/invocation etc tonight. I’m too distracted.


I’ve worked with both.

Hit me up if wanted.

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I’m damn tired today. I had company last night and they didn’t leave til late-ish, so my dumb ass took a sleeping tablet far too late. Was a struggle getting out of bed.

Before they’d arrived, I’d lit candles for Belial, Dantalion, Abaddon and Lilith. And blooded Belial and Lilith’s sigils. I still have to collect Lilith’s roses from the bush in the garden that she asked for. And tonight, I make offerings to the other spirits I’m asking for help with something. It’s gonna be HUGE if it works out and a massive test of my skill and sanity.

I’m not exactly open with my practice, so I had to rush putting away sigils and bloodletting stuff away when my company unexpectedly arrived. I did leave the candles burning though and some incense. They were none the wiser. I wish I was in a position to be more open about it, but I’m not right now. So here and with like 2 people is the only place I feel safe talking about it.

So, the plan for tonight is to finish the offerings early. I want to really buckle down and do my clairaudience training with Belial. I mentioned the other day something about suffering and lessons, and while I know the (self inflicted) differing he was talking about, I’m not sure the lesson he means. So, I need to delve into that more too. I have a feeling it’s something I’ll need Murmur for, as their sigil keeps popping up in places it has no business being, but we’ll see tonight.

I feel stagnant magically right now. I know I need to move onwards and upwards, but there’s something keeping me tethered. Time to stretch these wings and fly… Coffee first.

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I am thoroughly drained today. Feel like I’m getting quite ill; site throat, achy body… But Belial wants to talk to me later and he isn’t a friend you keep waiting.

But I wanted to deviate from my usual entries and talk about my profile pic; Kuchisake-onna.

Kuchisake-onna is a Japanese “yokai” or a form of demon/malevolent spirit, some of which were humans who (and this is a loose translation of the Japanese) fell to corruption. The story goes that Kuchisake-onna was once the beautiful wife of a famed samurai. Her beauty was incomparable to any other woman in Japan. But she became vain and unfaithful to her husband, who then slit her mouth with a tanto (or dressmakers scissors in some versions) from ear to ear as punishment. She then became an evil spirit who walks the streets late at night with the lower half of her face covered. She then approaches young men walking alone and asks them “watashi kerei?” (Am I pretty?) If the young man answers yes, she removes the covering off her face and asks again. If they scream, she kills them. If they run, she chases them down and kills them. If they lie to her and say yes, she mutilates their face the same as hers and kills them.

There are a few versions of how to get away from Kuchisake-onna. One says you have to be firm from the start and when she asks you if she’s pretty, to say no and walk away. Another version is you can distract her by offering her a certain kind of sweet and running away. The other common one is to throw money and her and tell her to go away and run home.

All in all, a pretty cool yokai.


As a side note, I kinda think that Kuchisake-onna is at least to a degree, inspiration for Heath Ledger’s joker. What do you think?